


a stranger's hand (clutched in mine)

by Schocker



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F, and happiness and love and fluff, angst and suffering and pain, california au, i like to call this one: the one where lauren cant catch a break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 20:22:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6128962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schocker/pseuds/Schocker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“This is all I have left,” Lauren says, her voice low and rough with emotion. “A note from my mom who decided to leave me behind and a backpack full of wrinkled clothes. That’s all I have.”</p><p>“You have me,” Camila says quietly.</p><p> </p><p>Or: The cali!au where Lauren is poor, Camila is rich, and it all works out anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a stranger's hand (clutched in mine)

It’s pleasantly warm outside but Lauren’s shivering. Her hands tremble as she stares at the business card in front of her, her heart pounding wildly. The pay phone she’s clutching with her other hand is pretty nasty looking and the box is heavily rusted, but she can still hear the dial tone as she holds the receiver near her face.

The thing is, Lauren has nowhere to go. Dinah, her best friend, would take Lauren into her house in a heartbeat, but Dinah’s already taking care of so many of her siblings and Lauren can’t add to her friend’s stress like that. Zayn’s taking care of his sickly mom and little sisters and he has no space for Lauren to crash, even just for a few nights.

Still, as Lauren slides a few quarters into the pay phone and starts dialing the number in her hand, she wonders if this is the right decision. It’s ringing then and Lauren has to blink back tears. She really doesn’t have it in her to have a breakdown right now.

_“Hello?”_

Lauren nearly drops the receiver. Her heart is lodged up in her throat and she has to clear it before she says, “Hello, Mr. Cabello?”

_“Yes, Mr. Cabello speaking. May I ask who this is?”_

“Um,” Lauren’s head is spinning and she’s still really not sure if she’s making the right decision, but, “It’s Lauren… the one from juvie? You gave me your card and told me to call you if I ever needed your help?”

Mr. Cabello doesn’t sound annoyed or upset in the slightest, which Lauren thinks is a good sign. _“Lauren, yes! What can I help you with? Are you in some kind of trouble again?”_

“I…” Lauren swallows thickly and closes her eyes as her emotions threaten to overwhelm her for a moment. “My mom kicked me out of the house.”

 

_“Enough is enough, Lauren.”_

_“I’m sorry, Mom,” Lauren says._

_Her mother shakes her head, knocking back the drink in her hand and gesturing to the door. “I’m tired of this. I want you out.”_

_The words hang between them for a few moments. “What?” Lauren finally manages. “Where would I go?”_

_“I don’t care right now, take your things and leave,” her mother says, not even looking Lauren in the eye (which is the worst part of this whole thing, Lauren thinks)._

_“Yeah, you heard your mother, get out.”_

_Lauren glares at the man on the sofa, anger starting to bubble up in her. “You don’t even fucking live here, asshole,” she spits._

_The man rises off the couch and towers over Lauren but Lauren doesn’t back down. His sneer is ugly when he says, “You can’t mouth off to me, show me some respect.”_

_“Respect?” Lauren snorts. “I should respect some nasty, drunken freeloader who abandoned his own kids?”_

_Lauren expected the blow, but she still feels an odd sense of triumph at riling the man up as she crashes into the wall with a throbbing pain in her face._

_“Jason!” her mother cries. “Stop, stop it! Lauren,” she pleads, “just please go.”_

_Jason gets another blow in that splits Lauren’s lip badly before Lauren’s mother grabs his arm. Jason relents and grabs Lauren’s arm with bruising force, dragging her to her room and tossing to the floor._

_Lauren’s knees ache with how hard she hits the ground, and she scowls fiercely back at Jason. She snatches a backpack off the floor and tosses the nearest clothes into it._

_Ten minutes later, the sun is starting to set and Lauren is completely alone._

Lauren swats away Mr. Cabello’s hand as it reaches for her rapidly bruising face.

He seems to understand that she really doesn’t want to be touched and sits back in his seat. “You can call me Alejandro,” he says and Lauren nods, not wanting to seem rude.

The ride is silent and Lauren lapses back into her own thoughts.

 

_“I’m Alejandro Cabello, I’ll be your public defender.”_

_The man is dressed smartly and Lauren doesn’t move to shake his proffered hand._

_“You alright? Are they treating you okay here?” he presses and Lauren offers a miniscule nod, deciding to be as cordial as possible while she’s handcuffed to a table._

_“That’s good,” he says, sounding like he actually means it. He sits across from Lauren and starts flipping through a file that she knows must be hers._

_“Your grades are very good. Test scores are high, as well. You’ve already graduated, very impressive. Are you planning on going to college?”_

_Lauren very deliberately looks down at her shackled hands then back up to the man, giving him a look that clearly reads_ what do you think? _She doesn’t have the money to go to school, even if she got a full ride somewhere and worked, she knows about textbooks and apartments and cost of living._

_“Hmm,” Alejandro says thoughtfully. He looks back to his file. “You’ve been in a few fights, but nothing major.” He closes the file and looks at Lauren very closely. “You seem like a good kid, Lauren.”_

_Lauren can’t fight the snort that escapes at his words._

_“I mean it,” he insists, looking very serious. “This is your first run-in with the law, I can get you out on a misdemeanor and probation. Why don’t you tell me what happened that night?”_

_“I walked out of the store and there were people fighting. I tried to run around them but another girl attacked me. I defended myself and the police showed up and arrested us all,” Lauren says, her voice monotonous and dull. God, she’d only wanted to get one of those shitty, gas station deli sandwiches and avoid her mom’s boyfriend._

_Alejandro’s scribbling in his notebook and nodding. “You should be out in only a few days. Stay out of trouble for the next six months and you’ll be in the clear,” he says. He gathers his things and smiles at her. “I’ll be there the morning they let you out. It was nice to meet you, Lauren.”_

_Lauren’s breath catches in her throat as she realizes that this man may have just kept her out of juvie for the next few months._

_“Thank you,” she says, her voice so low that she thinks he might not have heard her._

_But he smiles brightly at her. “You’re most welcome, Lauren.”_

The house is almost a mansion. It’s grand and beautiful and everything Lauren thinks about when she imagines wealthy Californian families.

The inside is surprisingly homey feeling, but still massive and elegant and everything Lauren’s not. She doesn’t belong here, not in the slightest. Alejandro detours to the kitchen (beautiful countertops and appliances, of course) to offer Lauren an ice pack.

“Thanks,” she mutters, fighting off a wince as she presses it to her tender skin. She can’t look the man in the eyes and her split lip pulls painfully when she speaks.

“It’s no problem,” he says. Lauren follows him up a staircase that looks like it belongs in some castle somewhere and down a hallway with expensive looking paintings lining it. “Would you mind waiting out here a moment? I need to speak to my wife.”

He eyes her cautiously and even though Lauren knows it’s fairly reasonable (he _did_ get her out of juvie, after all), she grows incredibly annoyed.

“I’m not going to steal your fancy paintings,” she snaps.

Alejandro frowns and opens his mouth to speak but Lauren cuts him off.

“You should go talk to your wife,” she says, her voice more restrained.

He’s still frowning when he enters the room and shuts it behind him. Lauren’s head spins with regret moments after he disappears. He’s been nothing but kind to her and she snaps at him like that? She’s probably spending tonight on the streets, but at least they’ll be fancy, rich people streets.

She’s so sucked into her thoughts that she jumps when a she hears a tiny voice say, “Hi!”

Lauren spins and stares at the little girl standing behind her. She’s adorable and she stares up at Lauren with a toothy, dimpled smile. She looks like Alejandro actually, so this must be his daughter.

It strikes Lauren then that she really doesn’t know anything about Alejandro. The ride over had been silent and it’s not like they’ve talked at great length about their personal lives.

“Hello,” Lauren says finally when she realizes the little girl is waiting for an answer.

“My name is Sofia. Who are you?”

Before Lauren can answer, another voice echoes from somewhere else in the house.

“Ready or not, here I come!”

Sofia squeaks and hides behind Lauren, clinging to her legs. Lauren’s hands fly up instinctively; the last thing she wants is for Alejandro to walk out and think that she’s attacking his kid or something.

Another girl rounds the corner, much older than Sofia. She’s about Lauren’s age and she’s so pretty that Lauren’s heart pounds harder and faster.

The girl pulls up short when she spots Lauren only a few feet away. Her eyes flicker from Lauren’s bruising face to the ice pack in her hands to Sofia’s arms very clearly wrapped around Lauren’s waist.

“Hi?” the girl says, cocking her head and making her hair cascade over her shoulder and damn it all she really is beautiful. She looks like an older version of Sofia, who’s giggling into Lauren’s lower back. “Who are you?”

And for the second time in under a minute, Lauren doesn’t get a chance to answer. The door she’s been standing next to opens and a woman calls for Sofia. Sofia detaches from Lauren immediately and runs to the very pretty woman who must be her mother.

“I see you’ve met my daughters,” Alejandro says pleasantly. “This is Sofia and Camila. Girls, this is Lauren. She’s going to be staying with us for the weekend. Lauren, this is my wife Sinu.”

Lauren’s hands are still held out near her shoulders like she’s surrendering. She lowers them slowly. “Hello, Camila and Sofia. Hello, Mrs. Cabello,” she says carefully. She can tell by the way Sinu blinks that the politeness was unexpected. Lauren’s parents never taught her anything about manners, but Lauren’s not an idiot. She knows what to say around nice people. And Mrs. Cabello is certainly a nice, fine woman.

 

“This is the pool house, you’ll be sleeping here this weekend,” Sinu says, gesturing to the door in a way that almost reminds Lauren of her mother hours earlier.

The pool house is nearly twice the size of Lauren’s house and she really can’t believe just how _rich_ these people are. If she pretends her mother didn’t kick her out of the house, it’s like she’s on the nicest (only) vacation she’s ever been on.

“Thank you for letting me stay for the weekend,” Lauren says.

Sinu has her arms crossed and she’s still eyeing Lauren warily. Annoyance twinges at Lauren but she dismisses it easily enough. She understands Sinu’s reluctance. Who would want some delinquent in their house with their kids? Especially in a house like _this_.

“Dinner is in an hour. Alejandro and I would love for you to join us,” Sinu says and Lauren knows it’s at least half a lie. Sinu keeps a good poker face, but Lauren can sense that the woman would rather eat glass than have Lauren at their family dinner.

“Thank you,” Lauren says, trying for a smile that pulls painfully at her lip.

Sinu leaves Lauren to the pool house. It’s got a shower that Lauren doesn’t hesitate to use. The water is hot and the pressure is better than Lauren’s ever had. She towels herself off and picks out the nicest clothes she packed (a pair of non-ripped jeans and a plain black shirt) and tries to smooth out the wrinkles.

She would just stay in the boat house and avoid the Cabellos altogether, but that seems rude and she hasn’t eaten since she had lunch at Dinah’s yesterday. Her hair’s still a little damp as she walks across the lawn, but she feels much better after cleaning herself.

She stops outside the back door. Should she knock? Should she just walk right in?

The decision is taken out of her hands when Sofia tugs the door open and pulls Lauren in by her hand happily.

“You’re right on time!” Sofia tells Lauren. “We’re about to sit down to eat.” And with that, the little girl spins on her heel and sprints out of the back foyer (because this house is so big it has an entrance area for the front _and_ back doors).

Lauren stares after Sofia, kind of dazed. Camila appears from the room Sofia disappeared into and she grins at Lauren.

“Sofi has that effect on people,” Camila jokes. “The dining room’s just through here.”

Lauren follows after Camila silently. She seems nice and Sofi obviously doesn’t have a problem with Lauren either, which is a huge relief. The last thing she needs is to upset the Cabello children when their mother is already on edge about her.

The dining room is massive, like it’s built for a few dozen people to be accommodated, but the Cabellos are all clustered at one end of the table looking pretty comfortable. Lauren’s thankful that Camila’s just wearing a hoodie and some skinny jeans, because otherwise she’d feel really underdressed. Sofia’s wearing fairy wings which somehow relaxes Lauren. She very hesitantly sits down on the plush chair next to Sofi, who grins up at her. Lauren can’t help but smile back.

“Does that hurt?” Sofia asks, pointing at Lauren’s still bruising cheekbone.

 _“Sofia_ ,” Sinu warns from across the table while Camila widens her eyes next to her mother.

“Nah,” Lauren lies to Sofia.

“Good,” Sofi says firmly. “I don’t like when people are hurt.”

Lauren stares at Sofi for another few seconds, the words nestling under her skin for some reason. She looks across the table and she’s pretty sure Camila’s hiding a smile with her glass of water.

The dinner’s not as awkward as Lauren thought it’d be. She and Sinu stay pretty quiet, but the rest of the Cabellos have no problem filling in the conversation. Lauren finds herself looking at Camila mostly, as she’s seated directly across from her (and very pretty to look at).

When Lauren’s lying in bed an hour later, she thinks about the Cabellos and their fancy house and their fancy plates and their fancy _everything_ and how that’s not what she envies about them. Alejandro reached out and smoothed Sofi’s hair back, the gesture so odd to Lauren but obviously very commonplace here. Sinu smiles happily and tells Camila she’s proud of her when Camila says she made an A on her final exam. She even _means_ it.

Lauren feels mostly awkward and out of place in the Cabello household, but she knows that it’s worlds better than what she has waiting for her at home.

 

Lauren only enters the main house after nine in the morning, which she thinks is a reasonable time. She hesitantly lets herself in and finds Sofi sprawled out on the sofa watching cartoons on a giant flat screen. She grins when she sees Lauren and, once again, Lauren can’t help but smile back.

“Good morning, Lolo,” Sofi says cheerfully. Lauren’s a little taken aback by the nickname but she doesn’t question it. “Kaki’s making breakfast in the kitchen.”

Kaki? Lauren vaguely recalls Sofia referring to Camila by that name at dinner last night so she nods and walks into the beautiful kitchen. Camila _is_ there, dressed in some sweats and a t-shirt that somehow manage to look way nicer than Lauren’s.

Lauren clears her throat awkwardly and Camila jumps a little at the noise. She still flashes Lauren a big smile, though.

“Hey! Did you sleep alright?”

“Fine,” Lauren mumbles. She’s not really sure how she’s supposed to act around the other girl. This beautiful girl who’s above Lauren in every possible facet of life.

“Great,” Camila’s still smiling. “Do you want some pancakes? Sofi insisted I make her some and she’s not one to take no for an answer.”

Somehow, Lauren doesn’t doubt that. “Sure,” she says, because she might as well enjoy three square meals a day while she can.

Lauren perches on a stool and watches Camila make stir the batter, her tongue sticking out in concentration. It’s terribly cute and Lauren needs to get her mind off of it immediately.

“Where’re your parents?”

“They had some work stuff to take care of,” Camila waves a hand.

Lauren nods, but she doesn’t try to talk again. She’s not much of a talker anyway, unless she’s with Zayn, who talks even less than her, or Dinah, who demands to be spoken to.

“So, Lauren,” Camila begins, her voice pleasant. She stops abruptly and frowns at Lauren. “Sorry, I don’t think I got your last name.”

“Jauregui,” Lauren supplies.

“Lauren Jauregui,” Camila repeats. Lauren tries not shiver but she _really_ likes the way her name rolls off Camila’s tongue. “That’s a beautiful name for a beautiful girl,” Camila says, sincerity dripping off the words.

Lauren’s not really sure what to say in response. She’s, like, eighty percent sure that Camila’s flirting with her, but she doesn’t want to fuck up her situation even more. “Your pancake’s burning,” is all she says, fighting a grin when Camila squawks and futilely tries to salvage it.

Eventually, Camila’s made a sizeable stack of pancakes and she, Lauren, and Sofi pretty much devour them. It doesn’t take long before Sofi is tugging at Lauren’s hand. Lauren looks down at the little girl expectantly and Sofi asks, “Lolo, do you wanna come to the beach with me and Kaki?”

Lauren’s eyes flicker uncertainly to Camila, but Camila only nods and smiles at Lauren. Lauren looks back down to Sofi’s wide eyes and how is she supposed to resist them, really?

“Sure,” she agrees, smiling a little when Sofi cheers loudly.

 

Apparently they’re going to ‘the Shack’, which sounds like the sketchiest thing Lauren’s ever heard – and that means a lot coming from her. She’s carrying her boots in her hand (probably the nicest things she owns) and her toes feel nice on the warm sand. Sofi’s clinging to her other hand, which Lauren doesn’t question – a reoccurring theme with Sofi – and Camila’s listening to Sofi chatter on about something that Lauren’s not paying attention to.

“Lolo, you’re gonna get to meet Manibear!” Sofi says excitedly. Lauren nods and smiles at the little girl, even though she has no idea who ‘Manibear’ is. It’s certainly not that person’s real name, as Sofi’s shown a clear penchant for nicknames, but Lauren hopes they mostly leave her alone. She still barely knows how to act around the Cabellos, let alone some completely new person.

The Shack turns out to be a little bungalow on the shoreline. Camila explains that it’s right on the edge of their property and Lauren tries not to roll her eyes because of course. They have a fucking shack that’s nicer than her house settled on the edge of their beachfront property.

There’s a girl waiting on the porch and she looks up when Sofi squeals and releases Lauren’s hand to run the remaining distance to her.

“That’s Normani, one of my best friends,” Camila says helpfully.

Normani stands to greet Sofi and Lauren almost stops walking with the force of Normani’s beauty. It must be something in the water they drink, Lauren thinks. Normal people don’t look as beautiful as Normani and Camila.

Normani cocks a hip and props a fist on it as Camila and Lauren approach her. It oddly reminds Lauren of Dinah.

“You’re late,” Normani directs to Camila. Camila shrugs and doesn’t look particularly apologetic.

“It was Kaki’s fault!” Sofi says, not realizing that Normani was already blaming Camila.

“I’m not really mad, Sof,” Normani laughs a little. She finally turns to take in Lauren, no doubt studying her badly bruised face and defensive posture. Normani’s gaze is piercing and Lauren recognizes the way Normani’s scanning her because she does it frequently with new people. For some reason, that makes Lauren take an instant liking to the girl.

“And who are you?” Normani asks, her voice not rude, just curious.

“Lauren.”

“She’s staying at ours for the weekend,” Camila adds.

Normani offers Lauren a blinding smile and shakes Lauren’s hand in a firm grip. “Nice to meet you, Lauren.”

“You too,” Lauren says, surprised by how much she means it.

Normani’s pretty mean to Camila in the way that most friends are, and it’s a little refreshing if Lauren’s honest. The Cabellos are just so freaking _pleasant_ (although now, with Normani, Camila grows more outspoken and rough as they exchange barbs with grins) that it’s nice to not worry about trying to be perfectly polite.

Lauren stares out over the ocean. It calms her in a way she’s rarely felt, especially since things have gotten really bad at home. Sofi’s splashing in the water right at the edge and Lauren feels peaceful.

“So where are you from, Lauren?” Normani asks.

Lauren jolts a little. She hasn’t been paying attention to anything Normani and Camila have been saying and she tries to gather her thoughts.

“Chino,” she answers cautiously. She knows the (well-earned) reputation her hometown has, especially among the more upper class people in the OC. She feels defensiveness rise in her when Normani cocks a brow and whistles lowly.

“Got a problem with that?” Lauren snaps. Chino may be a shithole, but it’s still Lauren’s home where her friends all live.

Normani raises her hands in surrender. “Whoa, no, I didn’t mean anything by it,” she says. Lauren softens a little when she sees the sincerity in Normani’s eyes. “Just explains this whole badass persona you’ve got going on.”

Lauren licks her lips against the thick, salty air and feels the swollen split in her lip. “Yeah?” is all she says.

“Totally,” Normani nods easily, the situation no longer tense like it was moments before. “So are you one of Mila’s dad’s clients or something?”

“Mani,” Camila’s voice is a warning, but Lauren doesn’t really mind sharing. Normani’s easy to talk to, relaxed and non-judgmental. And Lauren’s slept in Camila’s pool house, so she deserves to know as well.

“Yeah, I got pulled into a gang fight,” Lauren says casually. She turns to speak to Camila directly. “Your dad got me out of juvie, although it probably helped that I’m not actually in a gang.”

“A fight,” Normani repeats, her voice marveling, like the very idea of a physical confrontation is foreign to her. Based on the way Camila’s eyes widened, Lauren thinks it’s probably an obscure concept to both of them.

Lauren has to suppress a snort. Rich people.

“Is that how you got your face all busted up?” Normani asks bluntly in a way that, again, makes Lauren think of Dinah.

“No,” Lauren says simply. The other two don’t ask her to elaborate and she’s thankful for that.

They go on to lighter topics, then, mostly Normani and Camila talking and Lauren listening, but Lauren doesn’t mind. Sofi’s building a sand castle and refuses any help. She says that a princess must build her own kingdom.

Ally, another one of Normani and Camila’s friends, is having her birthday party in a few weeks, Normani tells Lauren excitedly. Lauren’s been to parties, but she has a feeling the parties in Chino and Orange County are quite different.

Normani even extends an invitation to Lauren, which is as startling as it sounds. Lauren looks hesitantly between Camila and Normani. In a few weeks, she’d be back in Chino with her mom and Jason or some other crappy guy that her mom’s brought home. This weekend in the OC will be nothing but an old dream.

Camila’s eyes are sparkling hopefully, though, and Lauren can’t bring herself to completely shut down the idea. Hope is a rarity where she comes from, and she doesn’t want to crush it.

“Maybe,” Lauren says. “We’ll see.”

She’s pretty sure Normani takes it as a yes.

 

“Thanks,” Lauren says.

Camila looks up from the sandwiches she’s making Lauren, Sofi, and herself for dinner. “For what?”

Lauren shuffles her feet while she tries to figure how to express what she’s feeling. Feelings have never really been her strong suit, let alone to a girl that she’s pretty sure she’s developing a massive crush on. “For taking me along with you today. Introducing me to your friend. It’s really nice of you. You could’ve just ignored me all weekend.”

Camila smiles wide. “Nah, I like you too much to do that to you. ‘Sides, you look like you could use a little fun. It _is_ summer after all.”

Lauren ducks her head and hopes her face isn’t flushing pink. She’s _definitely_ developing a massive crush on Camila.

 

Before Lauren knows it, the weekend is over.

Camila gives her a small phone because she doesn’t want to lose contact with her. Lauren tries to refuse it – they’ve only known each other two days – but Camila and Normani both insist. Lauren finally relents when Sofi breaks out the puppy-dog eyes.

“It’s hard to resist those big brown eyes of hers,” Alejandro jokes in the car as he’s driving her back to Chino. “It’s good, though. Now you can contact us easily if you need to.”

“I tried to tell her it was too expensive,” Lauren says.

“Camila’s a stubborn one,” Alejandro says fondly. It sparks on odd kind of longing in Lauren’s chest that she hasn’t felt in a long time. She brushes it off.  “With her and Sofi together… well, it’s a good thing they’re both good girls, or they could take over the world.”

Lauren doesn’t doubt that one bit.

Her backpack seems heavier somehow when she climbs out of the car. She offers Alejandro a smile as he comes to stand next to her.

“Thanks… for everything,” she says, hoping he knows how much she means it.

“Don’t hesitate to call me for anything,” he says. “I meant what I said that first time we met. You’re a good kid, Lauren.”

Lauren has to swallow hard against the lump that grows in her throat. She nods and turns to walk up the path to her house. She can feel Alejandro’s eyes on her back, probably waiting for her to get inside safely. She takes out her key and struggles with the busted doorknob before she finally pushes the door open.

She freezes. Her bag slides off her shoulder and she’s running through the house, busting into every room, but they’re all the same.

Empty.

The house is completely empty. There’s no stained couch in the living room, the busted futon in her room is gone, even the kitchen cabinets are open and desolate.

Lauren’s mind is reeling. She has nothing. Absolutely nothing. Tears fill her eyes and she blinks them back because crying is only going to make her feel worse. She can’t believe this is happening to her. Her eyes catch a sheet of paper left on one of the countertops and she walks over to it with lead limbs.

_I’m so sorry._

It’s her mother’s handwriting.

Her head bumps against the wall and Lauren feels numb. Her mind can barely process what’s happening. What does she do now? Her mother’s gone, left her all alone. Where is she supposed to go?

Lauren hears Alejandro step through the door she left open but she doesn’t tear her eyes from her mother’s elegant script. Lauren always thought her mother had beautiful handwriting, and it was one of the things she clung to most growing up. There was very little beauty in Chino, but Lauren had a little piece of it right in her own mom.

Alejandro pats Lauren’s shoulder gently. She slowly looks up at him and his eyes are full of understanding.

“Let’s go,” he says.

Lauren crumples the note in her fist and keeps it there as she follows Alejandro back to the car.

 

It’s all déjà vu when they pull up to the Cabello house. Only this time, Lauren’s got a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Last time they pulled up, Lauren knew she’d be going home in a few days. But this time, Lauren has no idea what’s going to become of her.

Her mother’s note is still in her hand. It’s all she has left.

Sinu frowns when Lauren walks through the front door and Lauren’s shoulders curl in even further. Camila’s at the foot of the stairs with a confused look on her face.

“What happened?” Sinu asks, and Lauren can hear the unspoken _why is she still here?_

Lauren’s eyes fall to the floor and she shifts on her feet. She can’t bear to look anyone in the eyes right now. She wishes the ground would open up and swallow her whole.

“Lauren, why don’t you head out to the pool house? We’ll talk a little later,” Alejandro suggests gently, like Lauren’s going shatter at any second.

(The annoying part is that she might.)

She nods and accepts the dismissal, taking off for the pool house. Her breathing shudders as soon as she shuts the door behind her and drops her backpack on the ground. Lauren’s not really good with feelings, but even she can recognize that she’s falling apart.

She goes and lies on the bed, tossing an arm over her eyes. The paper still clutched in her hand crinkles in her ear, but she doesn’t move. Maybe if she stays as still as possible, she’ll keep herself under control.

She’s breathing deeply when she hears the pool house door open. It’s silent for a few seconds, then the door shuts slowly and the bed dips next to her. Lauren can smell Camila’s perfume, some fancy kind that Lauren could never afford in a million years, but it’s comforting. Camila’s fingertips press lightly at her hand lying on the bed between them and she allows Camila to weave their fingers together.

Camila doesn’t speak and Lauren slowly manages to get her breathing to go from near sobs to steady breaths.

Lauren sits up abruptly, but makes sure to carefully detangle her fingers from Camila’s. She finally opens the fist that’s been clutching the note and smooths it out slowly. Her mother’s handwriting is still there, the same three words staring boldly back up at her.

Camila sits up next to her and stares down at the paper.

“This is all I have left,” Lauren says, her voice low and rough with emotion. “A note from my mom who decided to leave me behind and a backpack full of wrinkled clothes. That’s all I have.”

“You have me,” Camila says quietly.

Lauren finally turns to look at her and she almost wishes she hadn’t. Camila looks so beautiful in the dim room as she stares into Lauren’s eyes. Camila’s eyes have never look so gentle and her lips have never looked so soft and Lauren would give anything to lean in and kiss the other girl.

But Lauren can also recognize she’s a mess right now and that kissing Camila will only cause more complications. So she stares down at the note again and bumps her knee against Camila’s, hoping that she understands what Lauren’s trying to say. Camila bumps back.

Lauren carefully folds the note once, twice, then drops it on the bedside table. She has a feeling she’ll be looking at it often, however much longer she’s here.

Because Lauren’s not naïve enough to think the Cabellos are just going to take her in and raise her as their own. Sinu still eyes Lauren like she’s waiting for her to go nuts and suddenly attack someone, which Lauren knows is fair, because _did_ go to juvie for fighting. She doesn’t belong here in the OC. She’s destined to live out her unhappy life in Chino and die there, just like everyone else in that town. She could live out on the streets on her own because it’s not like she hasn’t been practically raising herself since she was eight years old.

Camila’s hands find Lauren’s again and Lauren would be frustrated with how much it relaxes her if she wasn’t so desperately seeking a way to calm herself down.

Camila’s phone buzzes on the bed a few feet away.

“That’ll be Mom about dinner. Are you feeling up to it?”

And _no_ , Lauren’s _really not_ feeling up to eating, but she does want to know what they’re planning on doing with her, so she nods wearily. She doesn’t pause to look in the mirror, because she knows she looks like a mess but trying to fix it wouldn’t do any good.

She spends most of dinner pushing her food around her plate. She should eat, she knows, but she just kind of feels sick.

“So I called a friend of mine,” Alejandro tells Lauren. “Because you’re still only seventeen, social services will look over your case and decide the next step. You’ll stay here with us until then.”

Lauren nods slowly and she knows she should thank the Cabellos for their kindness but her mouth is glued shut. She’s only just turned seventeen and being shuffled through the system for a year before being spat out on the street sounds like hell to Lauren.

Lauren locks eyes with Camila for a brief second and Camila gives her a reassuring smile.

At least she has Camila.

 

“You told Mani you’d go a few weeks ago!” Camila pouts. It’s very cute and Lauren rolls her eyes.

“I said _maybe_ ,” Lauren counters. “Maybe I’d go.”

It’s been a few weeks since Lauren’s mother vanished without a trace and Camila’s been damn near single-handedly pulling Lauren out of her depression. This, of course, doesn’t help Lauren’s now full blown infatuation with the girl, but Lauren’s grateful nonetheless.

It also helps that the Cabellos have really warmed up to Lauren, even the ever wary Sinu. Alejandro jokes comfortably with Lauren and Sofi is attached to her hip whenever it’s possible.

“It’s summer!” Camila complains. “We have to go to a party.”

“I’m not stopping you from going,” Lauren says.

“But Ally really wants to meet you! Mani and I have been talking about you and she wants to know what all the fuss is about,” Camila teases.

“So you’re giving her a disappointment for her birthday?” Lauren snorts.

“You’re not a disappointment,” Camila says lightly, but Lauren can tell by her expression that Camila means it completely.

That’s probably what makes Lauren cave. “Fine,” she sighs.

Camila squeals and leans forward to press a kiss to Lauren’s cheek before dashing away, words like ‘dress’ and ‘shoes’ and ‘makeup’ filling the hallway behind her.

Lauren’s hand slowly reaches up to touch her skin that’s still tingling from Camila’s lips.

She’s definitely fucked.

 

As it turns out, parties in the OC aren’t so different from Chino after all. There’s still bad music playing obnoxiously loud and kids are still drinking and smoking and generally getting fucked up. It’s just that these kids are wearing expensive, designer clothes and drinking expensive brand booze instead of the cheap shit Lauren’s used to. She finds she doesn’t like it much and decides not to drink anymore after only one beer.

Ally’s tiny stature is a big contrast to her huge personality. She’s already tipsy by the time Lauren meets her (which Lauren is sure isn’t hard, considering her small frame), but she’s sweet and genuine and she looks at Normani like the sun shines out of her ass.

Normani and Ally vanish into the crowd together and Lauren wonders if anyone else knows that those two are definitely fucking. Camila smiles after the two of them.

“They’re best friends,” Camila says and that pretty much answers Lauren’s question, so she smirks and keeps her mouth shut.

Lauren follows Camila around the whole party (partly because she doesn’t know anyone else and partly because Camila clings to her hand non-stop), watching Camila get a little drunk. Camila seems pretty in control of herself, though, balancing right on the fun line of tipsy and drunk that makes everything enjoyable.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” Lauren shouts over the music. Camila nods happily and gives her a thumbs up. Lauren chuckles and steps over a guy passed out on the staircase. She shakes her head. These rich kids don’t know how to hold their liquor.

It takes her a while to find the bathroom (she’s not even drunk, for Christ’s sake, these houses are enormous) but by the time she finally makes her way back downstairs, Camila’s nowhere to be seen.

Lauren looks all through the first floor but she can’t find Camila anywhere. She bumps into Normani, who’s still sober enough to point Lauren to the back door. The back lawn of the place is massive and Lauren can’t believe Ally has _two separate pools_ , both of them large and on opposite ends of the lawn.

There are a lot of other people outside as well, but Lauren spots the glittery gold of the dress Camila decided to wear near the small pool house. Small, of course, is still the size of the house Lauren used to live in.

She heads over there and scowls at kids all strung out and wasted everywhere. She’s been to parties, sure, gotten drunk a few times, but she has very little patience for people who completely lose control of themselves.

Camila’s talking to some guy as she approaches and Lauren thinks maybe he’s her friend or maybe she’s flirting with him (she brushes off the jealousy that rises in her at the thought), but the closer she gets the clearer the picture becomes.

The guy is leaning into Camila’s space and Lauren can tell by her body language and expression that Camila’s not happy about it. The guy wraps an arm around Camila’s waist and Camila shoves at his chest with a, _“Stop_ ,” that Lauren can hear from a distance. Lauren speeds up her pace and curses the size of the lawn that she’s crossing.

“I’m serious, Mark, get off of me,” Camila says, her voice mostly firm even as fear creeps into it.

“Camila,” Lauren calls once she’s close enough.

Both Camila and Mark’s heads turn to Lauren and Camila looks incredibly relieved.

“Lauren,” she breathes.

“Who the hell are you?” Mark demands, not looking pleased in the slightest.

“I’m Camila’s friend. I think we need to go home, Camz,” Lauren says, forcing a polite smile on her face, trying to diffuse the situation peacefully. She reaches out for Camila who happily links their hands.

Mark’s relentless, though. “I want to talk to her. Leave us alone.”

Lauren’s patience runs thin. She turns to Camila. “Do you want to stay with him?”

“No,” Camila shakes her head immediately. “I want to leave.”

“There you have it,” Lauren says, trying to pull Camila with her again.

Mark yanks Camila back to him, breaking Lauren’s grip on Camila’s hand. “What the hell, Camila? Are you playing hard to get or something?”

“I don’t like you, Mark,” Camila insists. “Don’t you understand? Let me go right now.”

“You heard her,” Lauren snarls. She’s had enough of watching this guy manhandle Camila. She gently takes Camila’s hand and starts to pull her along, relief sweeping through her when Mark only frowns.

The relief is short-lived, though, because Lauren and Camila only make it a few steps before Mark grabs Camila’s arm so tightly it makes Camila cry out in pain. He shoves her and Camila wobbles unsteadily and Lauren remembers then that Camila’s not really sober and that only makes her angrier.

“Hey!” Lauren snaps, putting herself between Camila and Mark. Everyone close enough to help are all too high and drunk to do anything but watch and Lauren hates them for it.

“Fuck you!” he spits. “You’re just here to be Cabello’s guard dog from the slums.” Lauren stares at him, thrown. “Yeah, we know who you are. Lauren the Chino kid, caught up in fights until the Cabellos took pity on you. Why don’t you head back to Chino to live out your pathetic life and leave Camila to me?”

Lauren doesn’t really care about what he said about Chino or her pathetic life (she’s heard those plenty of times), but the second Mark mentions Camila, her body moves on autopilot and she punches him as hard as she can.

 

“This is all my fault,” Camila says miserably.

“No it’s not,” Lauren shakes her head immediately.

“I make you leave the house for the first time in two weeks and you’re back in juvie.”

Lauren shrugs, the itchy material of her uniform rubbing at her neck.

“It’s not so bad in here,” she says.

That’s a lie. It’s a massive juvenile detention center that houses boys and girls. They’re mostly kept separate, but the place doesn’t have enough money for things like divided visiting areas, which means Lauren’s sitting in a room with guys and girls talking with visitors.

“Liar,” Camila teases weakly.

Lauren shrugs again. “I _did_ punch him first,” she admits.

“He punched you, too,” Camila says, her hand moving like she’s going to touch the bruises on Lauren’s face before she falters. Touching between visitors and inmates isn’t allowed.

“Yeah, he’s obviously not one of those guys who doesn’t believe in hitting girls,” Lauren jokes. Mark definitely didn’t hold back.

Sinu makes a noise at the back of her throat from where she’s standing a few feet behind Camila, her arms crossed over her chest. Lauren knows Sinu probably hates her at this point, for finally snapping and beating someone like she always expected and dragging Camila into it all.

She knows why she’s in juvie though. She’s still being watched for the gang fight, and if she had a parent or guardian then she could be released. But since she’s currently missing one of those…

“I told the police about Mark,” Camila says like she didn’t hear anything. “I don’t have to worry about him anymore.”

“He used to bother you a lot?” Lauren questions.

“Yeah,” Camila nods. “Not anymore, though. Thanks to you.”

“Nah,” Lauren ducks her head a little. “It was nothing. Although it’s good to know that upper class boys are just as awful as the guys in Chino.”

“Boys _are_ awful,” Camila agrees with a smile. Lauren grins back.

“You know, you called me Camz that night,” Camila says suddenly.

“Oh,” Lauren says. “Did I? I didn’t realize, I just… I won’t say it if you don’t like it.”

“No!” Camila protests. “I do like it. A lot.”

“Yeah?” Lauren smiles when Camila nods.

“Hey, what’s wrong mama, why don’t you give me a smile?”

Lauren glances over her shoulder. It’s a guy everyone calls Crash, and he’s nothing but trouble for everyone he comes into contact with. He’s knocked into Lauren hard enough to bruise her over the past few days and if she wasn’t trying so hard to be on her best behavior, she probably would’ve kicked his ass by now.

Lauren’s content to ignore him, but she sees how uncomfortable Camila and Sinu look, especially when they realize that Crash is talking to Sinu.

“Damn, you are _fine,_ ” Crash goes on.

“Shut up, Crash, leave her alone,” Lauren says over her shoulder.

“It’s fine, Lauren,” Sinu says, but she still looks unsettled.

“Yeah, shut it, Jauregui,” Crash says nastily. “C’mere, bitch, I want a good look at you.”

“Camila, let’s go,” Sinu calls out, starting to panic when Crash gets up and starts walking over.

“I said _leave her alone_ ,” Lauren growls, standing up and placing herself between Crash and the Cabellos.

Crash shoves Lauren back a few steps and Lauren feels Camila’s hands on her back, steadying her.

“Guards!” Sinu calls as Crash keeps getting closer.

Lauren’s instincts take over and her poor, bruised knuckles can’t catch a break this week as she punches Crash as hard as she can. Crash swings at her and she ducks under it, punching him again.

The guards arrive seconds later and Lauren’s restrained and hauled off. The last thing she sees is the stricken look on Sinu’s face.

 

Her hands ache fiercely. She’s in a single cell because of the fight, but she can’t bring herself to regret it at all. The fear in Camila and Sinu’s eyes stirred a fire in Lauren, and she wasn’t going to let some dumbass with a stupid name like ‘Crash’ hurt them because the shitty, underpaid guards were slow to respond.

“Jauregui.” Speaking of shitty, underpaid guards, Lauren thinks wryly. “You’ve got someone here for you.”

Lauren doesn’t know who it could possibly be. The only person that’s visited her is Camila with a reluctant Sinu behind her, and Lauren’s pretty sure she won’t be seeing them again after yesterday’s disaster.

But to Lauren’s surprise, Sinu is waiting for her. Before Lauren can even ask what she’s doing here, Sinu speaks.

“Grab your things. I’m getting you out of here.”

The next half hour is a blur as Lauren’s processed and released from juvie. She wants to question Sinu’s sudden change of heart, but she doesn’t want to fuck anything up. Why is she suddenly out of juvie? It’s not that Lauren doesn’t want to be out, but she really wasn’t expecting this.

“I thought Mark was pressing charges?” she finally says in the car while they’re driving.

“After the way he harassed my daughter? He’s lucky _I’m_ not pressing charges,” Sinu says fiercely and Lauren’s got a feeling that she’s probably the reason for Mark suddenly dropping the charges.

“At least he’ll leave Camila alone now,” Lauren says.

“Yeah,” Sinu nods, glancing to Lauren briefly. “You’re really protective aren’t you?”

Lauren’s eyes widen. “Um.”

Sinu only smiles and shakes her head.

The silence carries on and Lauren finally says what she’s been thinking about ever since the Cabellos took her in.

“Look, you’ve been really generous and kind to me by letting me stay in your house, but I think I’ve overstayed my welcome. I should probably go back to Chino and stay with one of my friends. I’ve only got a year until I’m eighteen.”

Sinu shakes her head and Lauren’s heart falls. “I know you think you’re old enough, but you’re still just a kid. And Alejandro and I can’t just put you out on the streets. Plus it would break Sofi’s heart. She misses you, you know.”

Lauren’s heart warms at the thought. “Really?”

“Oh yeah,” Sinu nods and launches into a story about Sofi from a few nights before, putting up a big fuss and searching the whole house for Lauren.

It doesn’t feel like a long journey from the juvie to the Cabello house. Maybe it’s because Sinu starts to make small talk and Lauren is quite surprised by it but she entertains the woman. They talk about some current issues and all, but never once did Sinu prod about Lauren’s past. She doesn’t know if she should feel grateful or upset about it.

The moment the car stops at the driveway, Lauren feels like she just met a new woman, and it makes her feels less intimidated around Sinu. She doesn’t know what changed, but it feels good. “I’m sorry to ask this, but I never knew what exactly you do. I know Alejandro is a lawyer but you…” she trails off. “Sorry if it’s not an appropriate question, I’m just curious, you know, because of the house and all.”

Sinu smiles. “My father owns the development company and I work with him. Mostly I deal with the design and commissioning. It’s boring, you probably don’t want to hear it.”

“I could use a little boring at this point,” Lauren jokes, pleased when Sinu laughs along.

Lauren’s still smiling, all the way up the driveway and into the house until she catches sight of a woman sitting on the couch.

“Mom?”

 

Dinner is horrifically uncomfortable, of course. Camila hugs Lauren fiercely in the kitchen before they go sit down to eat and that gives Lauren the courage to suffer through the meal.

Alejandro and Sinu don’t seem to know what to say and Lauren’s just incredibly thankful that Sofi’s at a friend’s house. She can hardly look up from her plate, occasionally making eye contact with the Cabellos but never her mother.

“So, Clara,” Alejandro finally breaks the silence. “How long have you been working at the laundromat?”

“Just a few weeks.”

“What happened to the restaurant?” Lauren speaks up and looks at her mother.

“Well, you know, I decided it would be better to find a more stable job,” Clara says and Lauren can’t contain her snort. She knows her mother is lying.

“You got fired,” Lauren deadpans.

“Well, it was a nasty place anyway. Rats and cockroaches – disgusting,” Clara tries to defend herself.

Lauren’s eyes fall back to her plate. She forgot how tired her mother makes her feel, how _exhausted._ She prods her food around some more; she doesn’t have much of an appetite.

“Where are you living these days?” Sinu asks politely.

Clara smiles at Sinu. “With friends. I’m between places right now.”

“What about Jason?” Lauren asks.

Her mother shakes her head. “Oh no, I broke up with him.” Clara turns to Sinu and says, “I really put up with him for too long and he put his hands on me and Lauren too many times.”

Lauren’s sets her fork down forcefully, rattling the table. _“Mom_ ,” she says, her voice a warning. She can feel Camila’s eyes burning into her, but Lauren doesn’t take her eyes off of her mother.

“What?” Clara says, like she can’t figure out what’s wrong with casually admitting she let her boyfriend beat her kid. “He was a bad influence with his drinking – ”

“ _Jason_ wasn’t the one getting drunk in the middle of the day,” Lauren snaps, losing her grip on the anger that’s swirling in her.

“Hey, I’ll have you know I haven’t touched a drop of the stuff since I dumped him last week. And you know how he was, getting drunk and violent –”

Lauren cuts her mother off again by shoving her chair back and rising.

“Where are you going?” Clara asks as though it’s her house and she has any right to know.

“Living through it once was more than enough for me,” Lauren scoffs, heading out the door to the pool house. She knows her mother is chasing after her and she hopes she can make it to the pool house and at least argue in private.

Unfortunately, Lauren’s never been a lucky person. Clara grabs her arm when she’s halfway across the lawn, pulling her to a stop and Lauren knows this fight is about to happen right then and there. She can see the Cabellos gathered on the back porch that’s a good distance away, but Lauren’s always been bad at keeping her volume down when she’s angry, which is something she inherited from her mother.

“Lauren, will you please just talk to me?”

 _“What_?” Lauren cries. “What do you want, what are you even _doing_ here?”

“I…” Clara looks taken aback. “I came for you.”

“You left me a note. A fucking _note_.”

“Don’t swear at me,” Clara says, trying to act like she has any right to tell Lauren what to do.

“You left me!” Lauren spits. “You abandoned me and just took off!”

“I know, it was just – Jason and the drinking – I promise, Lauren, it’ll all be different this time.”

Lauren shakes her head. “That’s what you said after Robbie. And Nathan. God, that’s what you said after _Dad_.”

 _“I’ll_ be different this time. We really have a chance to start over, Laur. And we’ve never had people like them,” she gestures back to the Cabellos who are still standing on the porch, their eyes wide.

The thought of her mother taking advantage of their kindness makes Lauren snap, “Right. So someone offers you a nice place to stay and suddenly you’re all about this _mom_ thing?” It’s all so overwhelming and Lauren’s so tired of being angry.

“I didn’t know what I was doing when I married your dad,” Clara says desperately. “I was too young. And he got arrested and everything went wrong, but I always had you, kid. You’ve always been so smart, I’ve always know that you’re made for bigger things than Chino. I’ve failed you, I know I have. All I ever wanted was the best for you,” she finishes, her voice cracking.

Something in Lauren’s chest tugs at the very rare sincerity her mother is showing and she can feel her face softening. Clara takes a step forward, though, and Lauren instinctively takes a step back. She’s not going to open herself up so easily.

“Are you really never gonna forgive me, kid?” Clara sniffs, her eyes brimming with tears.

Lauren’s shoulders slump in defeat. She knows it’s not a good idea, but it’s her mother, what is she supposed to do?

“Let’s just…” Lauren trails off with a sigh. “We’ll take it slow, okay?”

Clara nods eagerly and Lauren looks back over to the Cabellos. Camila’s lips move slowly, mouthing the words _you have me._

It warms Lauren’s heart and for a moment she thinks that everything will be okay.

 

It’s Vegas Night. At least that’s what the massive banner on the house says.

Sinu’s hosting huge party and she insists that Lauren and her mother attend it before they leave the next day. She invited them over breakfast, which had been less awkward than dinner, mostly because of the presence of Sofi.

_“Lolo!”_

_Lauren sweeps Sofi up in her arms and spins her in a hug, laughing when Sofi squeals delightedly. “What’s up, kid, how have you been?”_

_“I missed you!” Sofi admits easily, a big smile on her face. “Kaki missed you too, she could never make a grilled cheese as good as yours.”_

_“So you only missed me for my killer grilled cheese, huh Camz?” Lauren jokes to Camila, who grins back._

_“What can I say, I’m a sucker for a good sandwich.”_

_Lauren laughs and tries to ignore her mother’s eyes boring into her from across the room._

_“It really is good to have you back,” Camila says sweetly. “Right, Dad?”_

_“Absolutely,” Alejandro smiles. “You’re the only one who laughs at my jokes.”_

_“I laugh!” Sofi protests, offended._

_“But you don’t get the jokes, Sof,” Camila says._

_Sofi gives Camila a look. “So?”_

_“Eat your eggs, Sofia,” Sinu chuckles. “Clara, do you want anything else? Eggs, toast…?”_

_“I’m fine with just coffee, thank you,” Clara says politely._

_Lauren relents and goes to sit next to her mother on the far side of the island in the kitchen. She smiles as she watches the Cabellos all interact._

_“You get on with them pretty good,” Clara says, her voice low._

_“Well, I’ve living here for a while,” Lauren replies shortly. After a beat she says, “Sorry, that was…”_

_“Fair,” Clara says. Taking responsibility for her actions has never been Clara’s thing, and Lauren thinks it’s a step in the right direction._

_“I’m hosting a party tomorrow night, Clara. I’d love for you and Lauren to join us,” Sinu says kindly._

_“Sure,” Clara smiles. “Count us in.”_

Lauren’s borrowing a dress from Normani, as she has for the other few parties the Cabellos have hosted during her stay with them, and Clara looks nice and cleaned up thanks to Sinu. Lauren’s worried about her mother, but she knows she needs to put at least a little faith in the woman if they’re about to head out into the world once more.

Lauren links their arms, prepared to stay with her mother for as long as she thinks she needs to.

“Are all their parties like this?” her mother asks when they enter the hall.

“Pretty much,” Lauren nods.

After ten minutes of Lauren hovering over her mother, Clara shoos her away.

“Go on, have fun with your friends,” she says. “You don’t need to babysit me.”

Lauren eyes her mother carefully for a few seconds, weighing her decision. Finally, she nods and takes off. She snatches a glass of champagne off of a tray and weaves through the crowd, trying to find Camila.

She eventually finds the girl talking to Normani and Ally.

“There’s Lauren!” Ally points out excitedly.

Lauren makes her way over and Normani lets out a low whistle. “Damn, girl, I think you look better in that dress than I do.”

“Stop,” Lauren jokes with a wave of her hand. Her cheeks warm when she catches how Camila definitely checks her out. Camila’s cheeks turn red when she realizes Lauren caught her.

“So you’re leaving tomorrow?” Ally asks.

“Yeah,” Lauren nods. “My mom’s got an apartment all set up and everything.”

“That’s really good,” Normani smiles and Lauren’s glad that these girls are Camila’s friends because she really does kind of love them.

Lauren smiles and they talk about dumb stuff, laughing together and having a nice time. Lauren’s going to miss this, she realizes, just spending time with these other girls and talking to them.

“I need to use the ladies’ room,” Normani says. “Ally, come with me.”

Ally agrees in a heartbeat and the two disappear into the crowd. Lauren can’t believe no one’s picked up on the complete lack of subtlety between them.

“They always go to the bathroom together,” Camila says. “They take a long time sometimes.”

Lauren stifles a snort into her champagne flute.

“So, promise to call me all the time?” Camila asks, fluttering her eyelashes.

Lauren laughs. “Promise. Scouts’ honor.”

“Were you a scout?”

“No, Camz, I grew up in Chino.”

“Just making sure,” Camila giggles. She looks especially beautiful tonight, Lauren notices, but maybe she just notices because she knows it’s one of the last time she’ll see Camila for a while. She’s making the most of it.

Lauren opens her mouth to say something but a loud crash, like a tray being knocked to the ground, echoes through the air. Someone’s talking loudly, much too loudly, and Lauren’s heart stops because she knows that voice. Her eyes go wide with horror and she rushes over to the sound of the commotion.

It’s her mother, sprawled on the floor and giggling like she’s hammered. Which she is.

There are people all gathered around now and Lauren just wants to hide away forever at this point, just cover her face and vanish.

“Stop just standing there and help me up,” her mother demands to the people all around her. “Help me up!”

Alejandro steps forward to help her but Lauren moves in and collects Clara. She’s Lauren’s mother, after all, she’s Lauren’s responsibility. Camila steps under Clara’s other arm and Lauren can only send her a thankful look, too disappointed in her mother to speak.

“I ruined everything again,” Clara slurs as Lauren and Camila lower her onto the pool house bed. “You hate me now.”

Lauren sighs deeply. “No, Mom, I don’t hate you. I love you.”

Camila helps Lauren get her under the duvet and Lauren makes sure that her mother is on her side in case she throws up in her sleep. Lauren’s silent as she watches Clara fall asleep.

She flinches a little when Camila touches her shoulder. “I can stay and look after her if you want?”

Anger and hurt rile up in Lauren and she stands up from where she was kneeling next to the bed.

“She’ll be fine,” Lauren says, her voice sounding tired to her own ears. “She’s had enough practice sleeping drunk.”

Lauren looks at Camila and Camila stares back at her. After a few seconds, Camila steps forward and wraps Lauren in the tightest, warmest hug Lauren’s had in years, and Lauren doesn’t hesitate to cling to the other girl. Lauren didn’t realize how starved she was for affection until she moved in with the Cabellos, who are always full of hugs and pats on the shoulders and smoothing of hair and it’s wonderful.

Lauren’s not sure how long she holds Camila in the dark pool house, but she eventually pulls away, sniffling and belatedly realizing she was crying. Camila swipes at her tears and it’s all very tender and if Lauren’s drunken mother wasn’t asleep a few feet away, Lauren might have leaned in to kiss Camila.

“Do you want to stay in the house tonight?” Camila asks and Lauren finds herself nodding. She knows she should stay and watch after her mother but she needs time to recover from what happened.

The party’s still going when Lauren and Camila slip up the stairs to Camila’s room, and Lauren’s just grateful her mother didn’t completely ruin the party.

Lauren’s running completely on autopilot by the time they get to Camila’s room, so much so that when Camila gives her some clothes to sleep in, Lauren just turns her back and changes right there. Camila’s face is bright red when she turns back around and Lauren tries to remember this moment so she can enjoy it when everything doesn’t suck.

After washing her face and curling up on Camila’s massive bed that easily left enough room for both of them, Lauren’s mind was still spinning.

“Thank you,” she tells Camila as the other girl climbs into bed. “For… earlier. Helping me.”

“I told you, Lo,” Camila says gently. She reaches out and covers Lauren’s hand with her own where it lies between them. “You have me.”

For some reason, the words make tears spring to Lauren’s eyes again and Camila’s eyes widen in alarm.

“No, don’t cry,” Camila says scooting closer to Lauren until they’re wrapped in each other’s arms. “It’s okay.”

It’s _not_ okay, Lauren knows, but maybe just for a little while, here in Camila’s arms, she can pretend that it is.

Lauren falls asleep with her forehead pressed against Camila’s and a warmth in her chest she can’t describe.

 

Lauren wakes slowly, her body heavy with the deep sleep she had. She hasn’t slept that well in a long time.

Camila’s practically in her arms. Her forehead’s gone from up against Lauren’s to the crook of Lauren’s neck. Lauren can feel warm little puffs of breath against her collarbone, and for a brief moment she allows herself to fantasize about what it would be like waking up like this all the time.

Thoughts of her mother slowly slide into Lauren’s head almost reluctantly, like her brain feels bad about making her remember. She should probably go check on Clara, but with Camila snuggled up into her, Lauren’s very reluctant to move.

Luckily (or unluckily), Camila starts to wake up then, her breathing pattern changing and her eyelashes fluttering on Lauren’s neck.

“Sorry I’m asleep on you, but you’re too warm for me to move,” Camila murmurs into Lauren’s skin and Lauren’s certain Camila can hear how her heart pounds in response.

“It’s not so bad,” Lauren says, resting her cheek against Camila’s hair. “At least you smell good.”

“True,” Camila giggles and it’s raspy and really not good for Lauren’s health.

They pretty much lay tangled up together for a while before Camila has to get up and pee. When she gets back, her hair is all mussed and she has sleep creases on her face and Lauren’s just really fucked.

Camila walks past her window (a giant bay window that opens over the front yard) and does a double take.

“Um,” she says, “our moms are outside right now.”

Lauren’s next to Camila in a heartbeat. “What?”

Sure enough, Clara and Sinu and standing on the path near the front door, talking very seriously about something.

Camila and Lauren exchange a look, then Camila unlocks her window, opening it up so they can hear the conversation.

“You’re her mother,” Lauren hears Sinu say. “You can’t do this.”

“I’m a mess, not a mother.”

“You have a responsibility to your child,” Sinu insists.

“I’m being responsible!” Clara argues. “I’m not wired for this. I can’t care for anybody else. I don’t have what you’ve got. The way your husband looks at you. And your kids look at you. Even my kid – like, no matter what, you’re going to make everything okay. You hold your family together. I tear mine apart.”

Lauren thinks she might cry as Camila clutches her hand comfortingly.

“Don’t do this,” Sinu nearly begs. “Don’t walk away.”

“Why not? It’ll be the first good thing I’ve ever done for her. At least this way, she gets a real mom. Take care of her, okay?” Clara says, her voice shaky.

The reality of the situation clicks for Lauren and then she’s _flying_ down the hall and the grand staircase and she’s never hated how massive this house is as much as she does right now while precious seconds tick away.

By the time Lauren bursts through the front door and past a startled Sinu, her mother’s cab is already turning the corner. Lauren stares after it, feeling like her chest is about to cave in. She has a feeling that her mother is _really_ gone this time. Her emotions are too scattered for her to properly assess.

Her knees buckle and nearly give out but then Sinu is there, steadying her.

“She’s not coming back,” Lauren says, her voice hollow. She knows her mother’s gone for good.

“I’m so sorry, Lauren. I tried to stop her,” Sinu says.

Lauren nods, feeling exhausted. She’s only been awake for twenty minutes but she feels like it’s been days.

 “What’s going to happen to me now?”

 

“Lauren’s staying with us now,” Sinu declares, her hands firmly on Lauren’s shoulders.

Alejandro raises his eyebrows, but he nods in approval. Sofi cheers loudly and Camila’s watching Lauren with concern, which is fair because her mother did just abandon her for the umpteenth time.

She only makes it through half of breakfast before she has to excuse herself, her emotions finally catching up and overwhelming her. She doesn’t even make it to the pool house, bursting into tears as soon as she makes it out the back door. She curls up against the wall and cries because now she doesn’t have a father _or_ a mother.

The door opens and Camila’s perfume wafts over Lauren. Lauren doesn’t hesitate to fall into Camila’s arms and soak her t-shirt with tears. Camila’s humming to Lauren and that only makes her cry harder because that’s what her mother used to do when Lauren was young and afraid of thunder.

When Lauren finally manages to stop crying, she feels like she could sleep for a week. Camila’s hand has been running along her spine soothingly and Lauren’s practically melting under the affection.

“Thank you,” Lauren says after a while.

“Of course,” Camila answers.

Lauren feels a little more balanced after that.

 

 _“Lauren_ ,” Camila whines, dragging the name out.

“Yes, Camz?” Lauren doesn’t look up from the book she’s reading by the pool.

“Come swim with me,” Camila demands, flicking some water that barely misses the pages of Lauren’s book.

(Technically it’s Camila’s book, but whatever.)

“Watch it!” Lauren says, trying to sound firm, but she mostly just sounds fond.

“Come swim,” Camila orders again. Lauren rolls her eyes, but she smiles anyway when Camila cheers as she rises from the chair she was lounging on.

The water _does_ feel nice, and Lauren splashes at Camila with no hesitation, laughing when Camila splutters indignantly.

Camila’s scowl turns to a smile at the sound.

“I like it when you’re happy like this,” Camila says.

“Oh? You didn’t like my brooding?” Lauren asks, raising her eyebrows.

Camila chuckles and shrugs. “I didn’t like it when you were sad,” she replies, flicking some more water at Lauren.

Lauren just hums in response, unsure how to respond. God knows she was a mess the first few days after her mom left, but she’s been pulling herself together. She has to move on eventually, she thinks, and the sooner the better. For all her brooding, Lauren doesn’t _like_ being sad.

“You’re doing the thing again,” Camila points out and Lauren jumps a little.

“What thing?”

“The thing where you get all lost in your head,” Camila says, leaning in close and tapping at Lauren’s temple with her finger.

Lauren can’t help but shiver under Camila’s touch, struggling to keep her body under control even as Camila presses in closer.

“Girls!” Sinu’s voice echoes from the back door and Lauren and Camila jerk apart like they were caught doing something not quite appropriate. “We’re going to the mall in an hour or so, get ready.”

“We should go,” Lauren says immediately, hauling herself out of the pool and snatching her towel. She hears Camila climb out as well.

“Lauren,” Camila says, her voice slow and heavy.

Lauren pauses and looks at Camila, feeling something weigh the air between them. Camila doesn’t say anything else as they continue to stare at each other and Lauren can’t help but marvel at how beautiful Camila is like she does any time she watches the girl for longer than a few seconds.

It takes all of Lauren’s focus to say, “We should go get ready. Wouldn’t want to keep your mom waiting.”

Camila only continues to stare at Lauren, pinning Lauren in her place. Finally, Camila nods, looking like she’s solved some puzzle.

“Yeah,” she murmurs. “Let’s go.”

 

Lauren’s been to a mall, of course, but the mall she frequented wasn’t like this mall.

It’s bigger, for sure, and cleaner and prettier and it has stores that make Lauren feel poor just glancing at.

She mostly follows along behind Camila and Sinu, who are talking pleasantly. They walk into a massive department store and Lauren rubs at her nose as they pass the perfume. No one could really afford perfume in Chino, nothing fancy at least, and Camila and Sinu seem to keep a much tamer version of the sprays that are lingering in the air.

There are four stories to this store, with clothes and shoes as far as the eye can see. It’s incredible, Lauren thinks as she watches the obviously well off people wandering the store. It’s incredible how much they don’t even realize the magnitude of their wealth. They wrinkle their noses as they consider buying shirts that cost as much as two weeks of food would cost Lauren in Chino with no worries about paying bills or buying groceries.

“What about you, Lauren?” Sinu asks, snapping Lauren from her daze.

“I’m sorry?” Lauren frowns. What _about_ her?

“Pick out a few things, you need some new clothes,” Sinu says like it’s obvious.

Lauren looks down at her outfit, which is a simple pair of jeans and a crop top she found at a thrift store with Dinah a year or so ago. “What’s wrong with my clothes?”

“You just don’t have much,” Sinu says, not unkindly.

She’s right, of course, because Lauren’s only got the meager amount of clothing she’d been able to shove into her bag with Jason looming over her all those weeks ago, plus a few things Camila’s loaned her, but she still feels uneasy. She doesn’t want the Cabellos to waste their money on her, and she tells Sinu as much.

Sinu and Camila both frown, the similarities between them becoming very apparent.

“It’s not wasting,” Sinu says firmly. She’s giving Lauren that look that makes Sofia and Camila and Alejandro do whatever she says and Lauren kind of gets why now.

“Okay,” she agrees reluctantly, because she still doesn’t quite believe that, but she’s not going to argue.

Sinu drops the look in an instant. “Good,” she says, perky as ever. She turns and starts flipping through racks and Camila sidles up next to Lauren.

“You got the Sinu stare,” Camila jokes lowly so her mother can’t hear. “How’s it feel?”

“A little unsettling,” Lauren admits.

Camila grins and leans in close, so close that it makes Lauren’s breath hitch in her throat.

“It’s a rite of passage,” Camila whispers. “Welcome to the family.” Then she darts after her mother.

Lauren’s left standing for a few seconds, a little stunned and a little in love with Camila.

 

“Dinah!”

Lauren laughs boisterously when Dinah picks her up and spins her around.

“I’ll wait here, then,” Zayn says, his voice colored with amusement.

“I haven’t seen her in forever, wait your turn,” Dinah snaps, but there’s no real heat behind it. She’s grinning so wide that her eyes are crinkled at the corners.

“I haven’t seen her either,” Zayn snaps back playfully. Lauren smiles up at him while he tugs her into a tight hug, smelling like cigarettes and leather. It’s a scent she’s missed, one that she’s known for so long.

“So,” Dinah begins when they sit down in a booth of the little run-down diner they’ve been going to for years. “Living it up with some rich family in the OC. How’s it been?”

Lauren tilts her head while she tries to phrase it best. “It’s been… good,” she says lamely.

Zayn snorts. “I’ll bet.”

Dinah hits him. “Shut up, she’s got her serious face on.”

Lauren rolls her eyes but she can’t help the smile that tugs at her lips. She’s missed them fiercely as she’s tried to navigate the upper class world the Cabellos live in.

“It’s weird. The Cabellos are so…”

“Privileged?” Zayn supplies.

“Snobby?” Dinah suggests bluntly.

 _“Nice_ ,” Lauren finishes.

Zayn and Dinah exchange an incredulous look. Lauren knows how it must sound; they’ve been talking shit on rich people since they were kids, going on about them being rude, mean, stuck-up and everything else that came to mind when they thought about big money.

Zayn recovers first. “That’s good,” he says. “They better make sure they’re treating our Lauren the best.” His tone is slightly teasing, but there’s an undercurrent of steel to his words. He means what he says, and Lauren gets it because they’ve all been protecting each other for years.

“They do,” Lauren says, her voice going soft when she thinks of Camila and her quiet comfort.

“Think you’ll be staying with them for good?” Dinah asks.

“My mom…” Lauren begins, trying to keep her emotions in check. She does a decent job, since Zayn’s only looking slightly concerned. “She’s not coming back this time.”

Silence falls over the table and Dinah pulls Lauren into a side-hug. It’s comforting, and Lauren let’s herself feel bad for a few seconds before she reels it in.

“So,” she says, sitting up and clearing her throat, “how’s your mom, Z?”

Zayn’s face lights up and he smiles wide. “She’s been doing really well. The medication she’s on has been helping. We walked around the block a few times last week and she did amazing.”

“That’s fantastic, Zayn!” Lauren beams, genuine happiness bubbling up in her for her friend. “I’ll have to come see her soon.”

“Ought to. She’s been asking after you for a bit. Don’t know why,” he says fondly with a roll of his eyes.

That sends a tendril of guilt creeping up Lauren’s spine. She didn’t mean to fall out of contact for a few weeks, but everything’s been so overwhelming with her mom leaving and trying her hardest not to fall in love with Camila (a spectacularly difficult thing to do, considering she’s halfway there anyway).

“Must be my sparkling personality,” Lauren jokes, grinning when Dinah laughs so loudly that people turn to look from across the diner.

“‘Sparkling personality.’ Good one, Lauser,” Dinah wipes a fake tear away. “You’re the mopiest person I know, and I know Zayn.”

“I don’t think mopiest is a word,” Lauren argues weakly, too pleased to hear Dinah’s laugh to really be upset. She really has missed them.

“Whatever,” Dinah tosses her hair over her shoulder. “Ready to hear my news?”

“I guess if I have to,” Lauren sighs dramatically.

Dinah narrows her eyes and sucks her teeth, but she must be really excited by whatever she’s about to say because she doesn’t retaliate. “My mom’s got a new guy, and he’s really great. Like, _really_ great. I’m gonna get to finish high school instead of working now,” she says, practically bouncing in her seat.

Lauren looks over to Zayn with wide eyes. He looks just as surprised as Lauren does.

“That’s amazing, DJ,” Zayn says genuinely, looking excited himself. He’s always been a big supporter of the younger two girls getting their education, even helping Lauren study those long nights so that she could graduate early.

“I’m so happy for you,” Lauren says with a huge smile.

They talk over their food and tell jokes that are years old and it lifts a weight from Lauren’s shoulders that she hadn’t even realized was there. Her mother’s gone now, but she still has family in Chino, she thinks as she looks at Dinah and Zayn.

She gets a text from Camila, one of entirely nonsensical emojis that Lauren knows Camila’s only sent because she’s bored. She’s smiling before she can help, staring down at the phone.

“Who’s got you all smiley?” Dinah teases.

Lauren’s cheeks traitorously flush pink even as she schools her expression and sits up straight, slamming the phone face down on the booth beside her leg. “No one.”

“Just like the no one who gave you a hickey in the tenth grade?” Zayn says lightly, his eyes glittering with laughter.

Lauren rolls her eyes at the memory. “No, nothing like that,” she says, and she means it, in a way. That girl who pinned her up against the pole under the bleachers and sucked a bruise on her neck was nothing more than a fling, someone to try things out with. Camila was nothing like that.

“So who is it?” Dinah asks, undeterred.

“She’s just…” Lauren sighs because she knows she can’t keep this from Dinah and Zayn. They know her better than she knows herself, and it’s been killing her to keep all her feelings under wrap anyway.

“Is it the daughter you talked about earlier?” Zayn guesses before Lauren can even say anything.

Lauren lets her head fall onto the table with a groan while Dinah gasps like she’s watching some kind of telenovela.

(Which she kind of is, given how almost ridiculous Lauren’s life has become over the past two months.)

“Am I that obvious?” Lauren asks miserably.

“Nah,” Zayn says. “You were talking about her earlier; your eyes were all lit up.”

“That’s being obvious,” Lauren complains faintly.

“I couldn’t tell,” Dinah says.

“That’s because you’re dense, Dinah,” Zayn smirks.

Dinah gasps again, her mouth falling open. “The nerve,” she says to Lauren emphatically.

It pulls a laugh from Lauren, which she knows was the point of the banter between them. They’ve always been so good at that, pulling her out of her head.

“So, the daughter.” Zayn stops, his eyebrows coming together. “You never told us her name, did you?”

“It’s Camila,” Lauren says, her voice softening around the name.

Dinah hums and smiles. “I hope I find someone who says my name like that someday.”

Lauren blushes and covers her cheeks with her hands.

“So Camila,” Zayn continues, enunciating the name clearly. “What’s she like?”

Lauren glances over to Dinah, who seems settled in and ready to hear what Lauren’s going to say. Zayn looks just as invested, leaning over the counter onto his elbows to watch Lauren carefully.

“She’s… indescribable,” Lauren says, awe creeping into her voice.

It’s silent for a few seconds and Zayn prompts, “Try.”

“She’s… she’s goofy, sometimes. Silly and sweet and fun. She reminds me how to be happy when I don’t want to be. But she can be serious when she needs to be. She’s kind and loving to her parents and to her little sister and… and to me. When I’m with her, I feel safe, I guess. She makes me feel like I belong somewhere,” Lauren says haltingly, trying to encapsulate everything she feels for Camila.

“She makes you feel like you’re home,” Zayn says, his voice low and his eyes soft.

“Yeah,” Lauren murmurs. “I guess she does.”

“So how long have you been together?”

Lauren snorts and shoots Dinah a tired look. “We’re not together, DJ.”

“Why not?” Zayn demands. “You talk about her like she hung the damn stars in the sky.”

Lauren shakes her head. She’s thought about this a lot, especially recently as Camila seems to show a complete disregard for personal space.

“I don’t want to ruin everything. She’s a rich, gorgeous, wonderful girl, and I’m some loser from Chino with no parents and nothing going for me,” Lauren says.

“Bullshit,” Zayn and Dinah say simultaneously.

“You’re scared,” Dinah adds.

“Of _course_ I’m scared,” Lauren growls in frustration. “I’m living with some rich family who have taken me in for reasons beyond me and they have no reason to keep me around. If they find out that some punk has taken advantage of their daughter, who knows what they’ll do to me.”

“Have you even considered that they’re keeping you around because they want to?” Zayn presses. “Christ, Lauren, you’ve been living with them since May, you don’t think after spending two months with you, they might care about you?”

Lauren swallows the rebuttal that she knows will get her pained looks from her friends. But the words still reverberate in her head.

_My own mom left, so what’s stopping them?_

“Even if I was in a relationship with Camila,” Lauren says instead, her heart fluttering at the mere thought, “what if it all goes wrong? What if we have a bad break up or we end up hating each other?” Lauren could never hate Camila, not even if she tried, but she’s not naïve enough to think that Camila wouldn’t hate her should everything go south.

“That won’t happen,” Dinah protests.

“How do you know?” Lauren challenges.

Dinah stutters for a moment then turns to Zayn imploringly.

Zayn nods and says, “It won’t happen. I’ve seen you through school girl crushes and flings and infatuations, but I’ve never seen you talk about someone like this. It’s different now, with her.”

Lauren frowns and tries not to notice how many times she’s said that to herself.

“Look,” Dinah cuts in, finally getting her words in order. “You love her, right?”

Lauren splutters because, like, _maybe_ , but also she tries not to reflect on it. “I don’t know.”

“How do you not know?” Dinah asks, sounding surprisingly patient.

“I don’t really have a frame of reference,” Lauren snaps defensively. “I love her, maybe, but am I _in_ love with her? Another big maybe.”

The booth falls quiet while they all process Lauren’s words.

“Too bad we’re all shit with feelings,” Zayn muses, looking very comfortable and not at all like he’s having a hand in Lauren’s emotional upheaval.

“You’re telling me,” Lauren complains, her heart tugging at the thought of Camila. Maybe she is in love, but it doesn’t matter. She’s never going to be with Camila.

“You obviously feel strongly for her, though,” Dinah continues. “You should at least tell her.”

“I just don’t want everything to go wrong,” Lauren sighs.

“I know you’re scared to hurt Camila-”

“It’s not just her, though,” Lauren admits, cutting Zayn off. “Sinu and Alejandro, they’ve been nothing but kind to me. Sofi is a sweetheart, too. I don’t know, it’s just nice to live where people actually…”

“Want you around,” Dinah finishes softly.

Dinah and Zayn still live in Chino and they still struggle with money but they never had Lauren’s problem with home. They have families who may be draining in their dependence, but they’re loving and kind.

“Yeah,” Lauren nods.

“Well I want you around, too,” Dinah says firmly. “You’ve got a phone now, so no excuse for not talking to me.”

“And we want to meet Camila,” Zayn demands. “I want to see who made our Jauregui so starry eyed and mushy.”

Lauren flicks a fry at him, but she can’t deny how her heart swells at the thought of her the people she cares about most meeting each other.

“She’ll like Dinah better,” Lauren tells Zayn, who shoots her an offended look.

“Of course she’ll like me,” Dinah says confidently. “What’s not to like?”

Zayn and Lauren share an exaggerated look that turns to laughter when Dinah sucks her teeth at them.

 

The party is much less disastrous than the last one and Lauren’s immensely grateful for that. She stays by Camila’s side for most of it, huffing in disbelief when Normani and Ally sneak off _again_ with no realization from anyone around them.

It’s a few hours after Alejandro puts Sofi to bed that Lauren finds the girl wandering the halls upstairs where there are no guests.

“What’s up, buttercup?” Lauren chirps cheerfully, struggling to contain her laughter at the deer-in-the-headlights look on Sofi’s face.

“Don’t tell Kaki,” she says immediately.

“Tell her what?” Lauren says innocently. She walks forward and slowly shoos Sofi back to her room; the girl obeys with a pout. “I didn’t see anything.”

Sofi’s pout turns to a grateful look and she says, “Thanks, Lolo.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lauren shakes her head.

Sofi surges forward and hugs her suddenly and Lauren freezes for a moment before she reciprocates. Sofi makes every hug feel like it’s the most important hug ever and it’s something Lauren kind of loves. Because she loves Sofi, honestly, like Sofi is her own little sister.

Sofi pulls back and disappears behind her bedroom door and Lauren stands there for a few moments.

Eventually, she starts back to the staircase, but she’s intercepted by Camila.

“Hey,” Lauren smiles.

Camila doesn’t reply, only grabs Lauren’s hand and pulls her along, leading them to a door that Lauren’s never been through. The two of them climb another flight of stairs and Camila only takes a second to kick off her heels before she climbs out a window and onto the roof. Lauren, well aware of how clumsy Camila can be, ditches her shoes and rushes after Camila before the girl can topple herself from the roof.

But Camila’s already sitting and staring up at the sky, a look of frustration seeping away slowly. Lauren approaches her silently, sitting close enough that their arms brush. Lauren doesn’t say anything, waiting for the tension in Camila’s shoulders to fade completely.

“You good?” Lauren asks quietly after a minute or two.

“Yeah,” Camila breathes. “Sorry, it’s just… Mani and Ally were saying some stuff that really…”

Lauren just nods understandingly. She knows how Dinah and Zayn can get, and she’s sure that Normani and Ally have no trouble getting just as frustrating.

The wind whips around them, noisy and cool. Camila’s frown turns to a little smile when she looks up at the stars.

“They’re beautiful, huh? I used to climb out here all time to look up at the stars.”

“Why’d you stop?” Lauren asks.

Camila shrugs. “I found something more beautiful,” she says, looking at Lauren meaningfully for a moment.

Lauren’s speechless for a few seconds, but then she looks back up at the sky.

“I’ve always loved the moon,” she says after a bit.

“Really? How come?” Camila asks, sounding genuinely curious.

“The moon is always there. I never had to worry about if it was going to show up or if it wouldn’t be bright enough. I would talk to it when I was a kid, because the moon will listen and it won’t judge you. Way up in space, where nothing bothers it – it’s peaceful, I guess.”

Camila looks like she’s considering Lauren’s words very seriously, which Lauren appreciates because she’s just rambling about the moon.

“Well, I’m here now,” Camila says decisively as she reaches out to tangle their fingers together. “You have me,” she repeats the words she said to Lauren months previously as she turns to study the moon.

Lauren can hardly breathe for a moment and the words fly from her mouth without permission just as another loud gust of wind blows by them and snatches the words away.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“Hmm?” Camila turns to Lauren with a calm face that shows she genuinely didn’t hear what Lauren said.

For a brief moment, Lauren thinks she’ll be brave. She thinks maybe she’ll repeat the words boldly to Camila’s face while looking the girl in the eyes, but the moment passes and she shakes her head.

“Nothing.”

 

Lauren’s in Chino with Dinah when she sees him.

“Name brand cereal,” Lauren muses, impressed when Dinah tosses the box into the shopping cart. “Your mom’s new guy must make good money.”

Dinah grins, looking pleased. “He’s actually the new owner of the garage Zayn works in.”

That explains how Zayn’s been able to afford better medicine for his mom, since Lauren’s sure Dinah told the man about Zayn’s plight. When Lauren meets the guy, she’ll be sure to shake his hand and thank him for taking care of her family.

Just as Lauren rounds the aisle, she stops suddenly, Dinah almost crashing into her.

“Hoi!” Dinah snaps. “Watch where you’re going, Lauser.”

But Lauren doesn’t respond. For a brief second, her heart doesn’t even beat.

There’s a man there, perusing soups like a normal, regular person. Dinah frowns past Lauren and looks at him

“Oh my god,” Dinah’s voice is low. “Isn’t that…”

“My dad,” Lauren croaks, her whole body clenching at the sight of him. It’s been a little over ten years since she’s seen him, but there’s no mistaking it’s him. They have the same, thick, dark hair (although Lauren’s is dyed darker) and the face shape and nose. She’s always looked a little more like her dad than her mom.

He pushes the cart down the aisle and his eyes slide right over Lauren like she doesn’t even exist.

Lauren stares after him for a good few seconds before Dinah tugs on her gently.

“C’mon, Lauren, let’s get you home.”

 

_Lauren’s running as fast as her legs can take her, but her mother’s boyfriend is still chasing her down. Lauren runs until she falls and the man grabs a fistful of her collar and lays blow after blow on Lauren’s face and she can hardly move or breathe or-_

Lauren jerks awake, her chest heaving and sweat lining her brow. It takes her a few fuzzy seconds before she realizes that she’s in the pool house, safe and sound.

She’s been having nightmares since she saw her father in the grocery store in Chino three days ago. Something about seeing him has sparked all of the memories Lauren’s worked so hard to force back and repress.

She can’t sleep while the nightmare is so fresh, so she takes a blanket and sits out on the patio, listening to the waves crash on the sand just out of her sight. It still strikes her how lucky she is to be staying in a place like this.

Lauren’s never really had a good track record with her mom’s boyfriends. Most of them weren’t around for longer than a year or so, and not all of them were so awful, but she definitely had her fair share of shitty men living in her house.

The sun starts to rise, coloring the sky in pretty hues of pink and purple. Lauren doesn’t know how long she’s been sitting there when Camila’s voice interrupts her thoughts.

“You’re up early.”

“Yeah,” is all Lauren says.

“Is the pool house not comfortable?” Camila asks, sounding genuinely concerned.

“No, it’s really nice,” Lauren tells her, because it _is_ really nice. “I just wanted to enjoy the sunrise this morning.”

Camila looks at her skeptically and Lauren tries to maintain her poker face. She doesn’t want to admit she’s been having nightmares. She’s nearly eighteen, for god’s sake, she shouldn’t be bothered by bad dreams.

“Okay,” Camila says finally, but Lauren can tell she doesn’t fully buy it. She sits next to Lauren and links their hands, watching the sun climb higher and higher into the sky.

The nightmares will go away after a while, Lauren thinks.

 

They don’t.

The nightmares happen frequently, robbing Lauren of her sleep. She’s got dark smudges under her eyes and she even falls asleep during breakfast once. Everyone except Sofi seems to sense her exhaustion but Lauren can’t help it. The nightmares are haunting her and she doesn’t know how to stop them.

“I think you should move out of the pool house,” Sinu says one morning.

Lauren nearly drops her spoon in her cereal, her eyes going wide.

“Wait, that came out wrong,” Sinu says immediately. “I just meant you don’t seem to be getting much sleep there, and we have rooms for you upstairs.”

“I like the pool house,” Lauren replies.

“But are you getting any sleep?” Sinu challenges. “Don’t tell me you’re fine, I’m a mother, I always know.”

Lauren shoots Camila a look, but Camila looks back at Lauren pleadingly, so Lauren reluctantly agrees to temporarily move into one of the guest rooms.

Maybe the change in scenery will help.

 

_“You think you can run from me?” the man sneers. His breath is rank and it fills Lauren’s senses as he pins her up against the wall. He leans in with a predatory gleam in his eyes and Lauren struggles against his hold._

_“Stop!” she cries, desperation seeping into her tone. He cocks his fist back like he’s going to strike her. “Stop!”_

_“You can’t get away from me,” the man says smugly. He’s the worst boyfriend Lauren’s mom has ever had. “You’ll never get rid of me.”_

_His fist flies forward and crashes into Lauren’s face._

_“Stop, please!” Lauren begs. He’s so much bigger and stronger than her that all she can do is plead with him. “Don’t!”_

“Lauren! Lauren, wake up!”

Lauren jerks awake, her heart pounding so fast she thinks it might give out. She’s breathing hard enough that she’s wheezing and when a man looms over her she scrambles back out of pure instinct until she nearly tumbles off the other end of the bed.

The man steps back, his hands going up in surrender and Lauren’s brain slowly registers what’s happening.

Alejandro is the man standing back with concern pinching his face. Sinu is closer to Lauren and Camila is lingering by the door with tears in her eyes.

Lauren’s breathing is still shuddering and she presses her shaky hands to her face in an attempt to calm herself.

“Sorry,” she says finally, her voice cracking.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Sinu says gently.

“Didn’t mean to wake you,” Lauren mumbles, embarrassment and shame stacking onto her exhaustion.

“Have you been having these nightmares for a while?” Alejandro asks.

“I…” Lauren’s hands fist in the comforter and she avoids all of their eyes. She can’t lie to them, and even if she tried, she’s sure they’d see right through her. “Yeah… a week or so.”

“And that’s why you’ve been so tired?” Sinu presses.

Lauren nods because she doesn’t know what else to say. “I’m sorry.”

Alejandro reaches out slowly, making sure Lauren sees his hand before he pats her shoulder comfortingly. “We’ll talk more about it in the morning. You should try to get some sleep.”

Sinu fusses with the comforter for a moment and Lauren feels like a child again. For some reason, that makes her eyes water and she closes them before Sinu can see. She listens to Alejandro and Sinu close the door behind her and she allows herself one last shuddering breath.

The bed dips next to her and she opens her eyes in surprise. “Camila?”

Camila slips under the duvet and leans on her elbow to stare at Lauren. She reaches forward and brushes a few hairs away from Lauren’s face. The gesture makes Lauren’s heart ache.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Camila murmurs, hurt creeping into her tone.

Lauren curses herself because this is exactly why she didn’t want anyone to know. She didn’t want them to be upset or worried and, if she’s being honest, she’s mostly embarrassed and she tells Camila that.

Camila frowns at her. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” she says, hovering over Lauren. It makes Lauren feel vulnerable and she really can’t take any more vulnerability right now, so she sits up.

“I didn’t want to worry you,” Lauren admits, her voice low. She can’t look Camila in the eyes as she says it, even when Camila makes a little noise at the back of her throat.

The sheets rustle when Camila sits up next to Lauren. “Of course I’m going to worry about you. That’s what happens when you care about people.”

Lauren finally looks over to Camila at those words, frowning when Camila still has tears in her eyes.

Camila barks a laugh suddenly, rubbing at her eyes. “Sorry,” she says. “I’m not the one who deserves to be crying right now.”

But Lauren says, “Thank you,” because she almost can’t believe that Camila would be so upset at Lauren’s distress that it would move her to tears.

“For what?” Camila cocks her head.

“For caring,” Lauren says simply, staring deeply into Camila’s eyes. “I just… thank you.”

Camila stares at Lauren silently for a few seconds with an indescribable look on her face. She slowly reaches out and holds Lauren’s cheeks in her hands and for one heart-stopping moment, Lauren thinks that Camila’s going to kiss her.

Then Camila’s chin tilts up and she presses a lingering kiss against Lauren’s brow that makes Lauren close her eyes and grasp at Camila’s forearms with her hands. Her breath catches in her throat, whether from attraction or emotion, Lauren’s really too scattered to tell right now. But she relishes in the contact while she can.

Camila pulls back and Lauren keeps her eyes closed and hangs onto Camila a few seconds more. When she finally opens her eyes, Camila’s looking at her with such tenderness that Lauren has to force herself to pull away and lay back down.

Camila’s silent as they curl together like they did the night before Lauren’s mother left for good. Lauren’s heart aches as she lies next to Camila, but she just closes her eyes and lets herself fall asleep to the sound of Camila’s breathing.

She doesn’t dream.

 

Lauren’s hands twist anxiously in her lap and Camila grabs them to still them. They’re sitting in the waiting room and Lauren’s leg starts to jiggle instead.

She’s agreed to see a therapist once a week as Sinu and Alejandro asked. She didn’t want to at first, but more than that, she didn’t want to keep them up all night with her own problems. They even let her move back out to the pool house once she agreed, and she’s grateful. Not because the bedroom she stayed in wasn’t nice, but the pool house has been her sanctuary since day one.

“Relax,” Camila murmurs.

“I’m trying,” Lauren replies, her tone a little harsher than she intended, but Camila doesn’t look bothered by it. “Sorry,” Lauren says anyway.

“’S okay,” Camila says. “You’re nervous. It’s understandable.”

Lauren glances at Camila out of the corner of her eye.

 The thing Lauren doesn’t get (actually, there’s a lot of things she doesn’t get, but this in particular) is why Camila puts up with her. Lauren’s nothing but a massive pile of issues that even _she_ finds exhausting. Camila’s wonderful and she deserves so much more than someone like Lauren.

“You’re thinking,” Camila says quietly. “It’s so loud I can hear it.”

“Sorry,” Lauren apologizes again. It feels like that’s all she can do.

“You don’t have to say sorry for everything,” Camila reminds her gently.

Lauren just nods and swallows the next apology on the tip of her tongue.

She’s just a little freaked out is all. She’s about to see a therapist who’s probably going to tell her all the ways she’s fucked up in the head (quite a few ways, Lauren knows) and dope her up on pills. She’s seen what those pills can do to people.

When they finally call Lauren’s name, Camila gives her hands one last reassuring squeeze. Lauren straightens her shoulders and tries not to feel like she’s doing something terrible.

It goes astonishingly well.

The therapist isn’t some crusty old white guy like Lauren expected. It’s a young black woman who insists that Lauren call her Meg.

Meg’s a good listener and she encourages Lauren through her stammering and she doesn’t push when Lauren doesn’t want to talk about something.

“I’ll see you next week,” Meg says at the end of the session.

“That’s all?” Lauren asks, suspicion creeping up on her. She’s still waiting for Meg to psychoanalyze her.

Meg only smiles. “It’s our first session, Lauren. I don’t magically know everything about you or how to fix your problems. But we’ll figure them out together.”

Lauren leaves feeling surprisingly light.

 

“Do you think they’ll like me?” Camila asks anxiously.

“Of course they will,” Lauren reassures, brushing her hand against Camila’s comfortingly. “They’re really nice, I promise.”

Camila nods seriously. “I trust you,” she says.

The words make Lauren’s stomach tingle but then she hears Dinah’s voice calling her.

“Lauser!”

“DJ!” Lauren yells back, surging forward until Dinah swings her up into a hug like she always does.

When Dinah releases her, Lauren peeks around her, trying to spot Zayn.

“Where’s Zayn?” Lauren asks when she doesn’t see him.

Dinah scoffs. “Am I not enough?”

 _“Well_ ,” Lauren drags the word out, laughing when Dinah shoves at her with a scowl.

“He’s working a little late, he’ll be here soon,” Dinah says. She peeks over Lauren’s shoulder. “Is that her?”

Lauren turns and Camila is still standing a few feet away, looking a little pale. Lauren tugs her forward by her hand.

“This is Camila,” Lauren introduces. “Camila, this is Dinah.”

Camila sticks her hand out awkwardly. “Nice to meet you,” she says, sounding a little nervous, but sincere nonetheless.

Dinah’s face splits into a huge grin and she picks Camila up into a hug like she did with Lauren. Camila lets out a startled squeal that turns to giggles as Dinah puts her back down.

“Glad to finally meet the famous Camila that’s been taking care of my girl,” Dinah says happily, tossing an arm over Lauren’s shoulder and tugging her close.

Lauren shoves Dinah off and manages to keep the blush off of her face.

“Glad to finally meet the famous Dinah,” Camila responds. “Lauren’s told me a lot about you.”

“Aww, Ralph,” Dinah bats her eyelashes at Lauren. “Been telling everyone how much you love me?”

“Of course,” Lauren says with wide eyes. “You’re not an easy one to love; it’s a huge accomplishment.”

Dinah narrows her eyes at Lauren. “You’re rude,” she says definitively, turning on her heel to stalk to an empty booth.

Lauren laughs after her, turning to face Camila who’s watching her very intensely all of a sudden.

“What?” Lauren asks.

“I just like it when you smile,” Camila says, then she follows after Dinah.

Lauren blinks before scrambling after her as well.

Dinah’s a very loud, occasionally abrasive young woman, but she’s also funny and sweet and very much like Camila. The two get along magnificently, just like Lauren thought they would, and it warms her heart if she’s being honest.

“Sorry I’m late to the party,” Zayn announces his presence as he approaches the table. Lauren rises to give him a tight hug.

“And this must be the lovely Camila,” Zayn says, reaching out and taking Camila’s hand in his. He bends at the waist and presses a kiss to her hand that makes Camila’s cheeks turn pink.

He’s only doing it to tease her, Lauren knows, but it still stirs something ugly in her stomach and she slaps Zayn over the back of his head, pleased with the yelp he releases.

“Be nice,” Dinah warns Zayn, well aware of his flirtatious ways. Lauren shoots her a grateful look and Camila’s still trying to recover from Zayn’s accent and smoldering gaze.

“I thought I was being nice,” Zayn complains, but he doesn’t look very put out at all, settling into the booth next to Dinah.

“I’m Zayn,” he introduces himself with a charming smile. “I glad to finally meet the girl who’s been taking care of our Lauren.”

Camila’s eyes flicker between all three of them, surely picking up on how Zayn nearly repeated Dinah’s earlier words. Lauren had told Camila that they were meeting her friends, but Camila’s probably picking up on the fact that they’re more than just friends – they’re family.

“It’s good to meet you,” Camila says finally. “You’re even prettier than Lauren described.”

Zayn and Dinah both give a delighted laugh at that and Lauren rolls her eyes.

“Been talking about my prettiness a lot, Jauregui?” Zayn asks.

“It’s just fact at this point,” Lauren says calmly. “You know, water is wet, the sky is blue, and Zayn Malik is extraordinarily pretty.”

“You’re making his head bigger,” Dinah says.

“I’m hoping if it gets big enough, it’ll burst,” Lauren says, grinning wickedly when Camila snorts next to her.

“Ha,” Zayn says. “Hilarious. But enough about my prettiness; let’s get to the important bits.”

“And that would be…?” Camila asks hesitantly.

Dinah leans forward with a gleam in her eyes that lets Lauren know exactly what she’s going to say.

“How long have you two been together now?”

Camila chokes on her own spit and goes red, but Lauren was expecting it and only stares back at Dinah. Lauren could describe Dinah in many ways, but blunt is probably the best word.

“We’re not dating,” Lauren says, her voice surprisingly even.

“You’re not?” Dinah raises her eyebrows in a poor imitation of surprise. “My bad.”

“Wouldn’t have guessed that,” Zayn chimes in and Lauren throws him a betrayed look. He usually stays impartial to Dinah and Lauren’s squabbling, but he’s very clearly picking a side now.

“Didn’t mean to assume you’re into girls,” Dinah says to the still recovering Camila.

 _“Dinah_ ,” Lauren’s voice comes out exasperated because Dinah’s being about as subtle as a bull right now.

“It’s okay,” Camila reassures, finally able to speak again. “I do like girls. And boys. It doesn’t matter to me; I just like people.”

Dinah nods, looking entirely too satisfied with herself.

Lauren tries not to act like the words affect her but it’s difficult. She’s been harboring feelings for Camila for quite a while now, and even though Camila’s shown signs that she’s equally interested, Lauren’s go to defense is that Camila might not reciprocate her feelings.

But hearing the words, _“I like girls,”_ roll off of Camila’s tongue makes Lauren’s heart pound. She’s got a good poker face that only Zayn can see through (like he is now), so she manages to keep herself under control for the rest of the meal.

When they all say goodbye and part ways, Camila and Lauren are quiet as they drive back to the house. Camila finally speaks after a few minutes.

“I like them,” she says, certainty coloring her voice.

That warms Lauren from the inside out. “Yeah?”

Camila nods and reaches out to cover Lauren’s hand on the armrest with her own. “Yeah.”

 

Lauren’s hands have turned gray in some spots where she’s drawing with a pencil she borrowed from Sofi. The younger girl had been doing some art of her own and invited Lauren to join her. Lauren takes the opportunity to sit down and immerse herself in a sketch like she hasn’t done in these hectic few months.

She draws Sofi, because Sofi’s right in front of her and Lauren’s a little rusty and the reference helps. She’s only using a pencil, just like she always has (because art supplies are expensive and her shitty public school certainly didn’t have arts funding), and it’s comforting to fall back into the familiar lull of drawing.

“Lauren,” Sinu gasps behind her, nearly making her drop her pencil.

“Um,” Lauren begins awkwardly, like she’s been caught doing something she shouldn’t. “I was just… I mean, Sofi asked if I wanted to draw.”

“May I?” Sinu reaches out for the paper. Lauren nods dumbly and lets Sinu delicately take it from her hands. Even Sofi’s interested at this point, pausing in her coloring to stare up at her mother.

“Lauren… this is incredible,” Sinu says finally.

Lauren’s shocked, to say the least. “What?”

“You’re very talented,” Sinu tells her, sounding incredibly genuine. “How long have you been doing this?”

“I mean,” Lauren scrambles for her answer, trying to think back. She’s been drawing for so long, it’s hard to pinpoint when she began exactly. “I think I was about seven, right after my dad…” she trails off, glancing at Sofi, who doesn’t put together what Lauren’s implying.

Sinu does, though, based on the way that she frowns.

“Would you mind if I had this framed?” Sinu asks.

Lauren’s head is reeling a bit. “Why?” she asks. “It’s the first thing I’ve done in months – it’s not very good.”

“Lauren, if this is you out of practice, then I can’t wait to see you in your prime.”

The words make Lauren feel fuzzy for some reason. “So you’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad?” Sinu asks, cocking her head in confusion like Camila does so often.

“I…” Lauren trails off because she doesn’t quite know why. But that’s been the default in Lauren’s life for so long: she does something, then she’s in trouble.

“This is spectacular,” Sinu says softly. “Right Sofi?” She turns the drawing towards Sofi, who gasps.

“It looks just like a picture!” she cries in astonishment. “Lolo, can you teach me how to do that?”

“Sure,” Lauren says faintly, still feeling a little overwhelmed. Sinu squeezes her shoulder and leaves them back to their drawing.

And if Lauren cries later in the pool house when there’s a brand new sketchbook and set of pencils waiting on the bed, no one’s around to see her.

 

“Sinu brought up art school with me,” Lauren tells Meg.

Meg beams back at her. “That’s great, Lauren!”

Lauren hesitates. “I don’t know if I should go, though.”

Meg only asks her, “Why not?”

“Art school is… a lot of money,” Lauren says. “That’s a lot to spend on someone like me.”

“Someone like you?” Meg is very good at prodding Lauren just enough to keep her talking.

“You know,” Lauren says, frustration seeping into her tone. “Some nobody kid they picked up off the streets of Chino. They’ve been so wonderful to me, but I know when I turn eighteen, I’ll need to get a job and move out.”

“Why would you move out?”

“They won’t keep me around after I’m an adult,” Lauren sighs. “They’re only keeping me around because they don’t want to throw a kid out on the street.”

Meg hums thoughtfully and she’s quiet for a few seconds. Then she says, “Lauren, I’m going to do something I usually don’t do. I’m going to tell you about what Mr. and Mrs. Cabello said to me when they were setting up this arrangement for us. They told me that you were like a daughter to them and that they were very worried for you. They wanted to make sure you could heal and grow to be a happier person. Does that sound like the type of people that would throw you out on the street?”

Lauren’s speechless. She adores the Cabellos with all of her heart, but never in a million years did she think they would hold the same affection for her. It’s touching and Lauren feels herself tearing up in front of Meg for the first time ever.

“Do you want to know what I think?” Meg asks as she hands Lauren a tissue. Lauren nods because normally in sessions, she does all the talking, and she’s ready to hear what Meg thinks of her.

“I think you’re a wonderful, loving person,” Meg says frankly, like it’s fact and indisputable. “I think you’ve been hurt terribly by people in your life, but that hasn’t stopped you from loving others. But it has made you reluctant to let others in, to believe that someone will stay with you.”

Lauren blinks at Meg. She doesn’t know what to say.

“I’ll tell you something right now,” Meg says. “The Cabellos are sticking around. They’re not letting go of you, and although it’ll take you some time, I think you should try to let them in.”

Hope surges in Lauren. Maybe she can let them in. Camila’s face flashes in her mind and her heart warms. Maybe.

 

The air is warm and pleasant as Lauren stares up at the moon. She hears Camila (because only she and Camila come up on the roof) walk over and lie next to her.

“Not in the partying mood?” Camila asks lightly.

The house downstairs is packed with people and loud music. It floats up to them even now, through the open windows and doors. It’s the final party before Camila goes to school for her senior year.

Lauren shakes her head, smiling at Camila.

“Ally and Normani weren’t either. They left early together.”

Lauren huffs a laugh at that, barely refraining from rolling her eyes. Of course they did.

“Not in the talking mood either,” Camila comments teasingly, but Lauren only continues to smile.

If she’s being honest, she’s a little afraid she’ll blurt out that she’s in love with Camila and tonight there’s no wind to save her ass.

Lauren’s naturally a very guarded person. She’s defensive and resilient and despite all of that, Camila has wormed her way into Lauren’s heart so very easily and quickly that Lauren’s not sure what to do about it. It’s just that Lauren’s in love with Camila and she’s not sure she can keep it to herself for much longer.

“Thinking,” Camila hums, tapping at Lauren’s temple. Her touch is innocent and simple; Lauren can’t believe how it makes her heartrate double.

Lauren stands suddenly and moves from the slanted area of the roof to a flat section. She dramatically turns with a flip of her hair and offers her hand. “Ms. Cabello, would you do the honor of dancing with me?”

Camila grins in an instant and rises with surprising grace. “Certainly, Ms. Jauregui.”

She takes Lauren’s hand and it makes Lauren’s spine tingle. Lauren pulls her close and leads her in the waltz that starts to play from downstairs.

Camila’s doing very well, but Lauren’s sure she’s been taking classes like most socialite girls since she was very young.

“Where’d you learn how to waltz?” Camila asks and Lauren abruptly realizes how close their faces are.

“Zayn taught me,” she admits. “Me and Dinah. His mom taught him before she got sick.”

Camila hums and presses closer to Lauren. It’s probably not proper form, the way they’re pressed together too tightly and their faces so close, but Lauren could care less at this point. The dance goes on for several minutes, the two of them focusing so intensely on each other that Lauren’s brain shuts down a little.

“I feel a little dizzy,” Camila says breathlessly as they twirl on the rooftop with the moon shining down on them.

“Like, light-headed?” Lauren’s voice comes out shaky as well.

“Yeah.”

“Me too. Probably from all the spinning,” Lauren murmurs as they slow to a halt. “Maybe we should stop.”

“We have stopped,” Camila says, her voice a whisper as the tips of their noses brush.

“Oh,” Lauren breathes back.

They stare at each other for a few seconds, their faces so close that Lauren can feel Camila’s breath ghosting over her lips. Camila’s hand slides from where it’s been perched on Lauren’s shoulder to cradle her jaw and any thoughts of pulling away fly from Lauren’s mind.

Camila tilts her chin up slightly Lauren lets her eyes slide closed.

Camila’s lips are tentative at first, but when Lauren pushes back into the kiss, Camila grows firmer, her hand sliding to the back of Lauren’s neck to deepen the kiss. It sparks fireworks and electricity and butterflies and every other cliché Lauren can possibly think of at this moment.

They pull apart slowly and Lauren’s lips are still tingling. She keeps her eyes closed for a few seconds, trying to memorize this feeling. When she finally opens her eyes Camila’s staring back at her. They’re both silent for a moment.

“You have no idea,” Camila murmurs, “how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

Lauren lets out an almost hysterical sounding giggle because she’s kind of wanted to kiss Camila since she first saw her in that hallway with Sofi clinging to her legs. But she doesn’t want to freak Camila out, so she says, “Me too.”

“Is it okay if I do it again?” Camila asks.

 _“Yes_ ,” the word flies from Lauren’s mouth so quickly she’d be embarrassed, but Camila’s mouth is back on hers practically before she even finishes it.

The moon is huge and bright in the sky and Lauren’s happier than she’s been for a very long time.

 

Lauren’s not really sure how her life has come to this.

Camila’s curled up on her bed, reading a book for school with an adorable pair of glasses perched on her nose. Lauren’s sitting on the end of the mattress, sketching her and smiling every time she glances up.

She can’t believe she’s kissed Camila. Even as Lauren shades Camila’s lips in the drawing, she reflects on how she knows exactly what they feel like.

“Done,” Lauren says finally, grinning when Camila instantly drops her book and lunges forward to look at the sketch Lauren’s done.

“Wow,” Camila breathes, her fingers hovering over the page like she’s afraid to touch it. “This is… Lo, this is beautiful.”

 _“You’re_ beautiful,” Lauren responds simply.

Camila’s eyes move from the drawing to Lauren’s face and Lauren gets very little warning before Camila closes the gap between them and kisses her. Camila’s glasses bump against Lauren’s face and she smiles so hard that she breaks the kiss, only managing to exchange clumsy pecks with Camila.

“You can’t tell me things like that,” Camila says. “I’ll only want to kiss you all the time.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad to me,” Lauren says, grinning cheekily.

Camila rolls her eyes and shoves at Lauren but her cheeks still flush pink.

“If you’re going to kiss me all the time,” Camila says casually, “my parents might get a little suspicious about us.”

Lauren feels anxiety wind up her spine and press down her lungs, but she scoffs anyway. “Very subtle, Camz.”

“I thought so,” Camila says pleasantly. “So…?”

“So…?” Lauren repeats.

Camila makes a frustrated noise and wrinkles her nose. It’s very cute and Lauren has to retrain herself from leaning in and kissing the girl.

“Are we dating?” Camila asks. “Is that what you’d call this?”

“We haven’t exactly been on any dates,” Lauren muses.

“We’ve been on tons of dates,” Camila says, which Lauren thinks is fair considering all the time they’ve spent together over the past few months.

“So dating,” Lauren says, flipping the idea in her head. “I don’t know if I like that.”

Camila’s face falls and she turns from Lauren. “Oh.”

Lauren reaches out and turns Camila’s face back towards her. “I like girlfriend much better,” she says. “Way more exclusive.”

Camila smiles brightly back at her and they share a slow, sweet kiss that makes Lauren sigh with contentment. Then Camila pulls back and shoves at Lauren.

“You’re such an ass, you really freaked me out there for a second,” she complains, still grinning.

Lauren chuckles and lies back on the bed with a sigh. Camila flops down next to her and they link their hands between them.

“What do we tell my parents?” Camila murmurs, her voice low and barely audible to Lauren.

Fear seizes Lauren at the thought of the Cabellos finding out and kicking her out of the house. It most likely wouldn’t happen, Lauren rationalizes, but that doesn’t stop her from being afraid.

“We’ll tell them soon,” Lauren says finally. “Just… for right now…”

Camila picks up on Lauren’s hesitation and nods. “We’ll keep it to ourselves.”

Abruptly, Camila sits up and swings a leg over Lauren, straddling her waist. Lauren’s hands instinctively rest on Camila’s thighs and she smiles up at her, her heart racing at the contact.

“Hey,” Camila says.

“Hey.”

“Guess what?”

“What?”

Camila leans in close, her lips hovering over Lauren’s. “You’re my girlfriend.” Then she closes the gap.

 

Maybe the universe thinks Lauren’s just been having too much going right for her lately.

That’s what she thinks must be the case when she rounds the corner of the street that had the market where Lauren’s offered to run out and get Sinu some eggs. Mostly just because she lays eyes on Mark, the boy that was harassing Camila at Ally’s birthday party.

He spots her as well, recognition flashing in his eyes. His face twists into an ugly scowl and Lauren knows that she’s not going to be able to peacefully get Sinu’s eggs.

She tries to keep a wide berth between them as she passes him on the sidewalk, but Mark’s not having any of it. He rushes at her and Lauren backs into a side street just so that he won’t crash into her.

“Sorry,” Lauren says politely. “I’m just trying to get to the store.”

“You’ve ruined everything,” Mark spits. He crowds Lauren up against the wall and she has to fight her instincts that are screaming at her to fight and escape. She’s still on probation, after all, and the last thing she needs is to be thrown back in juvie for fighting.

“I’m sorry,” Lauren says again, trying to sound sincere though she felt anything but.

Mark lets out a bitter laugh. “No you’re not. Do you even know what happened to me because of you?”

Lauren doesn’t say anything and Mark jabs a finger into her chest.

_“Do you?”_

Lauren’s really struggling to contain her building anger. She can’t stand when people belittle her – when they _talk down_ to her. It’s something her mother’s boyfriends did all the time and it lights a fire in her.

“No,” she answers through gritted teeth. Mark has no idea she’s about three seconds away from kicking his ass, only held back by the sound of Camila’s voice in her head. “I don’t know.”

“They took away my scholarship and kicked me off the football team,” Mark says. Of course he’s a jock.

“I’m really sorry about that,” Lauren says, her anger making her words a little sharp. “But I’m going to leave now.”

She takes a few brief steps before he catches her by the upper arm in a bruising grip.

“I’m not done,” he snaps.

Lauren yanks her arm away and barely refrains from retaliating. “Yes you are.”

“Lauren!”

Lauren’s head snaps around and, to her utter surprise, Normani and Ally are approaching, worry lining their features.

Lauren’s so relieved to see them that she relaxes a little. Maybe that’s what makes it all the worse.

She barely turns back to Mark before his fist crashes into Lauren’s face. She’s caught completely off guard, falling to the ground and bouncing her skull off the pavement so hard her teeth rattle. She presses her hand to her eye where Mark made contact. She hasn’t been hit in so long, she’s forgotten how much it hurts. But oddly, this punch stings as much as it aches.

Lauren pulls her hand back and stares at the blood that’s covering her hand and then dripping into her eye. She looks up at Mark, who looks back down at her, dumbfounded. Together, they both stare at the blood on the jeweled ring Mark is wearing on his finger.

Mark looks at Lauren again briefly before sprinting down the street away from her.

Lauren sits up slowly, her vision spotting dangerously. Ally and Normani are in front of her suddenly.

“Oh my god,” Normani mutters, taking in the alarming amount of blood seeping from Lauren’s face.

“I’ll kill him!” Ally declares, staring after Mark, who’s only just disappearing around the corner. “I can’t believe he just… are you okay?”

“I’m bleeding,” Lauren says dumbly. She’s already staining the white shirt she’s wearing with red.

“I’ll call an ambulance,” Normani says, fumbling with her phone.

“No!” Lauren protests, covering Normani’s phone with her hand and inadvertently smearing it with blood. “…Sorry. Just help me walk back.” She slowly hauls herself to her feet, wobbling slightly but remaining upright thanks to Normani’s help.

“You have a head wound!” Ally says. “And you’re bleeding.”

Lauren tugs her already stained shirt over her shoulder, thankful that she’s also wearing a tank top. She presses the fabric to her bleeding brow and says, “There. Problem solved.”

Normani and Ally exchange an incredulous glance that Lauren only sees with one eye, but they agree to help her home. Lauren doesn’t protest when Normani wraps a steadying arm around her waist, because she’s feeling really dizzy and she might just totter over.

“I can’t believe he hit you,” Ally frowns.

Lauren snorts. “Because he gives off such gentlemanly vibes?”

Normani chuckles at that, silenced by Ally’s glare. “Sorry.”

Lauren blames the blow to the head for her lack of filter when she says, “You guys are so married.”

Normani halts for only half a second before she realizes that’ll knock both of them down and continues.

“What?” Ally asks, her voice going high.

“You’ve been sneaking off together at every party I’ve been to and I’m sure you’ve been doing it since before then,” Lauren says.

They’re both silent and it’s only belatedly that Lauren realizes that she might’ve crossed a line.

“Sorry,” she says. “It’s none of my business.”

“We’ve been together for six months,” Normani says, smiling over to Ally.

Lauren shifts her shirt on her head. “That’s a long time. You haven’t told anyone?”

“Our parents know,” Ally says. “The sneaking around is just…” her cheeks flush red as she trails off.

“What?” Lauren asks, a grin creeping on her face. She has a feeling she knows where this is going.

“It’s fun,” Normani shrugs. “It spices it up, you know?”

“Always thought you two were into some kinky stuff,” Lauren chuckles weakly, her vision getting spotted again. Maybe the hospital wasn’t such a bad idea.

They’re walking up the steps to the Cabello house suddenly, and Ally opens the door with Lauren’s key to let them all in. Camila appears from the kitchen and freezes as she takes in the scene before her.

“Is that Lauren with the eggs?” Sinu’s voice comes from the kitchen. When no one answers she appears behind Camila and gasps, her hand flying to her mouth.

“Sorry,” Lauren says sheepishly, wavering on her feet as she presses her shirt to her bleeding face. “Forgot the eggs.”

 

She ends up going to the hospital, where they stitch the gash just below her eyebrow and diagnose her with a minor concussion. They’re keeping her overnight for observation.

“He just _hit_ you? Just like that?” Camila gasps, her hand clutching Lauren’s tightly. She’s perched in the chair next to Lauren’s bed, staring at her with big eyes.

“I got his scholarship revoked apparently,” Lauren says.

“Bullshit!” Camila scowls. “He got it revoked himself by stalking me and assaulting you.”

“I hit him first,” Lauren reminds Camila.

“Well not this time,” Camila frowns, her voice growing softer. She reaches out and traces the edge of the bruise still beginning to blossom on Lauren’s cheekbone. “I don’t like seeing you all bruised.”

“You must not have liked me the first month I lived with you,” Lauren jokes weakly, but Camila still looks very serious.

“I did like you,” she murmurs. “A lot. But I like you even more now.”

“Yeah?” Lauren smiles a little.

“Yes,” Camila says firmly, leaning up and pressing a gentle kiss to Lauren’s lips.

Camila’s only just settled back into her chair when Alejandro comes into the room and Lauren thanks whatever god is listening that he didn’t come in ten seconds earlier.

“Hey girls,” he smiles, kissing Camila’s forehead, then Lauren’s, which surprises her pleasantly. “Lauren, I’m here to take your statement.”

“My statement?” Lauren frowns. “For what?”

Camila and Alejandro both stare at Lauren and she realizes she must have missed something.

“For the charges we’re pressing against Mark,” Alejandro says.

Lauren’s really missed something here. “Charges?”

Alejandro and Camila exchange incredulous looks that make them look very alike in that moment.

“He assaulted you, Lauren,” Alejandro answers with a frown.

“He only hit me once,” Lauren says.

“And you’re in the hospital with four stitches and a concussion,” Camila replies, her voice growing a little louder.

“Four stitches isn’t a lot,” Lauren protests weakly.

“You shouldn’t need stitches at all!” Camila snaps, her hand squeezing Lauren’s so tightly that Lauren’s knuckles might pop.

“Mila is right, Lauren,” Alejandro says seriously, even as he places a calming hand on his daughter’s shoulder. “We can’t just let him get away with attacking you.”

“I don’t want you to waste your time and money on this,” Lauren tells him, carefully avoiding looking at Camila.

“It’s not wasting,” Alejandro says firmly. “Besides, with physical evidence and two witnesses on our side, this won’t even make it to court.”

“Okay,” Lauren agrees reluctantly.

She tells Alejandro everything and he writes it all down diligently, asking questions to clarify every now and then. When he finishes, he pats Lauren’s leg above the blankets and says, “Sinu will be here in a few hours to stay overnight with you. Camila, why don’t you stay here until then?”

Lauren doesn’t look at Camila when her girlfriend agrees.

Alejandro shuts the door and leaves silence in his wake.

“I hate when you talk like that,” Camila mutters eventually. “Like you’re not worth defending or helping.”

“I don’t mean it,” Lauren replies, her voice as low as Camila’s, like they’re both whispering in the empty room. “It’s just… this is all still so new for me, Camz. I know I’ve been living with you for a few months, but I was pretty much on my own for years before that.”

“I get that, really,” Camila nods. “You don’t just get over that type of thing really easily.”

“But…?” Lauren prompts, sensing the words Camila’s not saying.

“But… I guess it just hurts hearing you talk like that,” Camila admits. “You’re so important to me, Lauren. I don’t know what I would do without you and the thought that you don’t know just how wonderful you are is heartbreaking to me. Because you _are_ wonderful.”

Lauren doesn’t say anything because she’s not quite sure what to say. “Thank you,” she says eventually.

“I mean it,” Camila insists. “And I know you don’t see it, but I’ll be here every day until you do.”

“Every day?” Lauren smiles at the thought.

“And every day after that,” Camila smiles, pressing a kiss to the back of Lauren’s hand.

 

“They call it ‘the Shack’ but it’s nicer than my old house,” Lauren tells Dinah as they walk along the beach.

Dinah snorts. “Of course they do.”

Lauren spots Ally in the distance and waves at her. Ally waves back excitedly and alerts Normani and Camila to their approach.

“I don’t know about this, Lauren,” Dinah says unsurely, her pace slowing.

“They’re really nice, D,” Lauren reassures. “I promise. I’ll kick their asses if they’re not.”

Dinah rolls her eyes, but she smiles gratefully. “Whatever, Lauser, you wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“Excuse me,” Lauren says, feigning offense. “You do realize that I’ve been to juvie for fighting. Twice.”

Dinah shoves at Lauren with a laugh. “Yeah, but you’re a big baby.”

Lauren shoves back harder, knocking Dinah onto the soft sand before taking off for the Shack, laughing loudly. She almost makes it, making out the wide eyed stares of the other girls before Dinah tackles her to the ground and knocks the breath out of her.

The two of them roll in the sand, grappling and laughing boisterously until eventually, Lauren’s got Dinah pinned face first in the sand.

“Tell me I’m the greatest, most wonderful, beautiful person in the world,” Lauren laughs.

Dinah struggles feebly but Lauren’s got her in a solid hold. “You’re the greatest, most wonderful, beautiful person in the world,” she recites dutifully and sarcastically.

“And that you love me.”

“Don’t push it, Jauregui.”

Lauren laughs and lets Dinah up, beaming while Dinah scowls at her. After a moment, Dinah smiles as well and they help each other to their feet, brushing each other off and hugging.

“What the hell?” Normani says when they approach. Her eyes are wide and she looks as stunned as Ally and Camila do.

“We’re just messing around,” Dinah says.

“Oh, sure _Dinah Jane._ You’re just saying that because I kicked your ass,” Lauren teases.

Dinah pulls Lauren into a headlock in a flash. “Whatever, Lauser, I can still beat you anytime I want.” She releases Lauren at pats her hair patronizingly.

Lauren rolls her eyes and flops onto the sand next to Camila. “Dinah, this is Ally and Normani. Guys, this is my charming friend Dinah.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Ally says sincerely.

“You too,” Dinah beams, nudging Lauren over and plopping between her and Camila, tossing her arms over both of them.

Dinah clicks with Normani in an instant. They joke together like they’ve been friends all their lives.

Lauren walks into the Shack to grab something to drink and Camila follows after her.

“You should be careful,” Camila says worriedly. “You only got your stitches out yesterday.”

“And now my head is closed,” Lauren smiles. “Dinah wouldn’t really hurt me anyway.”

Camila quirks a smile and leans in to kiss Lauren.

“Yes!”

Lauren and Camila jerk apart, staring at Dinah with wide eyes.

“Yes!” Dinah says again, her fists pumped in the air victoriously.

“Dinah,” Lauren begins, surprisingly not feeling very worried about being caught – mostly just because she’s annoyed, but, whatever, she’ll take it.

“Finally,” Dinah sighs. “I’ve been listening to you talk about Camila like she made the whole universe for, like, months.”

Lauren’s cheeks flush as Camila turns and beams at her.

“You had a crush on me?” Camila asks delightedly. “That’s so embarrassing.”

“Camz, we’re literally dating.”

“Still,” Camila grins.

“So, you’re girlfriends,” Dinah says casually.

Lauren rolls her eyes. “Yes, Dinah.” She grabs Camila by the hand and starts to pull her along behind her, pushing past Dinah in the hopes that she won’t embarrass Lauren further.

Lauren pulls up short, though, halting Camila and Dinah behind her when she lays eyes on Normani and Ally kissing near the shore.

Lauren suddenly understands how Dinah must have felt a minute earlier as she pumps her arms up and shouts, “ _Yes!”_

Normani and Ally pull apart, startled and flustered. Camila looks stunned and Lauren laughs.

“I didn’t know y’all were dating,” Dinah says innocently, even though Lauren knows she’s picking up on the vibes in the area.

Ally and Normani explain everything to Camila, who listens with rapt attention. She’s a little hurt by them not telling her – Lauren can tell by the wrinkle between Camila’s eyebrows – but she’s very supportive of the two.

“People from the OC are weird,” Dinah tells Lauren bluntly.

“True,” Lauren agrees. Her eyes cut to Camila and she adds, “But I kind of like it.”

Camila smiles and grabs Lauren’s hand, hiding them behind her back. Something stirs in Lauren, something that feels a lot like bravery as she glances at Normani and Ally. Impulsively, she leans in and kisses Camila in front of everyone, breaking off with a laugh as Dinah hoots at them.

Normani and Ally don’t look surprised (which Lauren kind of gets because she knows she hasn’t been subtle), but they do look happy.

“Lauren’s got a girlfriend,” Dinah sings. “I like Camila a lot more than your last girlfriend.”

“You had another girlfriend?” Camila gasps, looking mostly amused by the idea.

Lauren groans and covers her face with her hands. “DJ, shut up.”

“I wanna hear about it,” Ally says excitedly, leaning forward.

“Yeah, tell us all about it,” Normani eggs on, an almost predatory gleam in her eyes that matches Dinah’s. Lauren hates them both.

“Fine,” Lauren sighs. “I got a girlfriend when I just turned sixteen. Her name was Alexa.”

_“Lex, I’m serious,” Lauren giggles, swatting at her girlfriend’s hands. “I need to study.”_

_“All you ever do is study,” Alexa whines._

_“Education is very important,” Lauren says seriously. Then she and Alexa burst into laughter._

_“Just take one little break,” Alexa pleads. “Just a few minutes.”_

_Lauren hesitates because she knows a few minutes will end up snowballing into hours. Alexa’s giving her puppy-dog eyes, though, and Lauren buckles and agrees._

_Alexa squeals and leans in, pinning Lauren to the bed and kissing her senseless._

“So you liked her a lot,” Ally says softly.

“Yeah,” Lauren says. “But I guess just me wasn’t enough for her.”

Ally gasps and shares a look with Normani.

“You mean…?” Camila trails off, looking surprisingly calm despite the fact that Lauren’s talking about her ex.

“Oh yeah,” Dinah answers, steel in her voice.

_Lauren crashes into Zayn, soaking his t-shirt with tears in an instant._

_“Lauren?” he says, his voice alarmed. Lauren’s usually not one moved to tears so easily, so this must have been startling for him but Lauren’s crying too hard to care._

_“What’s wrong?” Dinah demands, approaching the pair._

_“I don’t know, she just ran up crying and hugged me,” Zayn answers._

_“Is it your mom?” Dinah asks. Lauren shakes her head. “Is it Alexa?” Lauren nods._

_“Is Alexa okay?” Zayn asks and Lauren chokes on her sob as anger rises up in her._

_“She’s f-fine,” Lauren snaps through gritted teeth, sobs punctuating her words. “I saw her f-fucking James Arbuck in the – supply closet.”_

_“I’ll be right back,” Dinah mutters darkly. She’s going to probably give Alexa a poly-beatdown but Lauren’s sadness creeps right back in and she doesn’t move to stop Dinah._

_Zayn’s not one for words, but he holds her close and lets Lauren cry it all out. Dinah’s back by the time Lauren calms herself down and she’s mostly just embarrassed then. Dinah and Zayn take her out for dinner that night and cheer her up and Alexa never even looks at Lauren again, but Lauren’s pretty sure that’s Dinah’s fault._

“That’s awful,” Normani says sympathetically.

Lauren shrugs. “It’s been quite a while since then.”

“And I beat the shit out her,” Dinah says proudly, not faltering when Lauren sends her a weary look.

“Good,” Ally says firmly. “No one should be treated like that.”

Camila pecks a kiss on Lauren’s jaw. “I’m sorry she did that to you.”

“Not your fault,” Lauren mumbles. “Besides, none of that matters now that I’ve got you.”

Camila’s cheeks go pink and she smiles softly. “You’re very cheesy, Lauren Jauregui. But I like it.” She kisses Lauren quickly, but it still makes Lauren’s heart race. Dinah wolf whistles and Lauren tosses a water bottle at her.

The sun begins to set and Camila leans her head against Lauren’s shoulders.

“I know we just came out to our friends,” Camila murmurs, “and I don’t want to kill the mood or anything, but… you know my parents are next, right?”

“Of course,” Lauren nods, her stomach twisting at the thought. The idea of having to tell Sinu and Alejandro that she’s dating Camila is terrifying.

But she’ll do it. Lauren will do anything for Camila.

 

It all comes about very simply, in the end.

Camila’s standing next to her desk like putting physical distance between her and her computer means she won’t have to write her essay. She’s being dorky and complaining about what she has to do and Lauren’s fascinated with the way her lips move. She stares at them from her position on Camila’s bed for so long that Camila eventually takes notice.

“Are you even listening, Lo?” she demands, but she doesn’t sound upset at all.

“I am,” Lauren replies, not taking her eyes from Camila’s mouth. She rises from the bed and moves to stand in front of Camila. “Just focusing.”

“Focusing,” Camila repeats, her mouth quirking into a smile. “Very funny.” She licks her lips and then bites the bottom one and Lauren really can’t resist when Camila does that so she leans in and kisses her senseless.

Camila doesn’t seem to mind to much, considering the way she presses back into the kiss, a noise that’s a half giggle, half moan filling Lauren’s mouth. They’re so focused on each other that they don’t hear the door open.

They do hear the gasp, though.

Lauren’s heart stops beating as she pulls back from Camila and stares at Sinu standing in the doorway. Lauren’s mind shuts off and she does what her instincts tell her to do.

She runs.

 

She can’t tell if she’s breathing hard from running or just hyperventilating by the time she gets to the pool house. For some reason, the first thing that catches Lauren’s eye is the note her mother left her months ago still sitting on her bedside table. She picks it up and stares at it so hard her eyes blur.

“Lauren?” Sinu’s voice seems to echo in the pool house, startling Lauren into dropping the note. She left the door open behind her. “Can I come in?”

Lauren turns to face Sinu, feeling like she’s facing her executioner. Sinu looks calm, _eerily_ calm, so much so that it makes Lauren swallow thickly as she nods.

Sinu lets herself in, standing in the middle of the pool house, while Lauren takes a seat on the edge of her bed. She clenches the sheets tightly, waiting for Sinu to say something, probably yell at her. But Sinu just stares at her silently, and Lauren’s anxiety shoots through the roof.

“I’m sorry,” Lauren says, her voice tiny. “I know you’re mad at me, I can explain.”

Sinu crosses her arms over her chest. “I trusted you.”

Lauren feels like she wants to cry. She betrayed Sinu’s trust, and as usual, she’s messed everything up. She blinks back her tears. “I’m sorry,” she apologizes again, because what else is she supposed to say?

She feels the bed dip with Sinu’s weight beside her.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sinu asks. “Or Alejandro?” Her tone is still calm and Lauren feels like she doesn’t deserve that. She deserves to be yelled at. “Since when has this thing between you and Camila been going on?”

“Just,” Lauren’s voice nearly cracks and she has to clear her throat. “About two weeks. I begged her not to tell you guys, I’m sorry. It was all my fault.”

Sinu sighs. “I’m disappointed in you, Lauren.”

Lauren’s heart drops. “I know,” she says quietly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen like this. I feel like I’ve taken advantage of your kindness and I’m so sorry. If you want me to leave now-” she says, starting to stand up but Sinu grabs her hand, pulling her down to sit again.

“Listen to me, Lauren. I’m not disappointed because you and Camila have feelings for each other, or that you decided to pursue those feelings.”

Lauren just blinks, unsure how to respond.

Sinu presses on. “I’ve always had this gut feeling about you two, but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to scare you. And you two never said anything.” Sinu shakes her head a little. “It’s impressive. Camila usually tells me everything and I’m quite disappointed she didn’t tell me earlier.”

“It wasn’t her fault,” Lauren insists and Sinu nods understandingly.

“I know. And I’m disappointed in you too because I thought you trusted me. I thought I’m good enough to be your mother.”

Lauren’s eyes widen as she glances up to look at Sinu. “You’re more than enough, Sinu. You’re more of a mother to me than…”

“Then why didn’t you tell me about how you really feel?” Sinu asks and before Lauren can reply, she continues. “You know, a mother always want her children to be happy, to be safe. In case you forgot, Camila is only one of my daughters. You are another one.”

Lauren can’t hold back her tears any longer, shaking her head. “Sinu…” she trails off, not knowing what else to say. It’s all too overwhelming.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sinu asks, her eyes shining sadly.

Lauren frowns, trying to keep herself from crying any more. “You guys have done so much for me, I… I don’t want to ruin your family,” she says, before quietly adding, “I don’t want you or Alejandro to hate me.”

_To leave me._

Sinu wipes Lauren’s tears, shaking her head. “You’re not ruining anything, honey. And nobody is going to hate you, Lauren. Not Alejandro, not Sofi, and definitely not me. In fact, we feel completely the opposite. I’ve grown to love you, we all do. Especially Camila. You fit seamlessly into our family, Lauren.”

Lauren’s having a hard time believing her ears, and she’s about to protest but Sinu gives her a stern look and Lauren’s words die in her throat.

“I know that you always think your family background defines who you are, Lauren, but it doesn’t. You’re your own person. This nice young woman who’s been forced to grow up before she’s supposed to, and it’s not right,” Sinu says, pausing slightly. “Whether you like it or not, you’re family now, Lauren. Family doesn’t end with blood. We aren’t going to leave you just because you think you’re making a mistake. We love you unconditionally. Trust me, you won’t get rid of us that easily.”

Lauren stares at Sinu. “Thank you,” she says finally, sniffling. Sinu smiles and pulls her into a tight hug.

Maybe, Lauren thinks, this really is for good.

 

Camila’s crying when Lauren shows up to her room. Lauren knocks on the frame lightly, her heart tightening unpleasantly when she takes in her girlfriend’s red, puffy eyes.

“Hey,” Lauren murmurs.

“Hey,” Camila says back.

Lauren hovers awkwardly in the doorway until Camila takes pity on her.

“You can come in,” Camila says with a weak smile.

Lauren hesitantly shuffles forward, frowning.

“I’m… really sorry. About earlier. Just, y’know, running off.”

“You were scared,” Camila nods. “I get it.”

Lauren’s eyebrows come together. “Are you sure? Because you look like you’ve been crying.”

That seems to make Camila snap and she gets up off the bed. “Of _course_ I’m fine. My girlfriend just ran off the moment someone saw us together, why would I be upset?!”

Lauren shuffles back a step automatically at Camila’s increase in volume, but Camila doesn’t notice.

“I’m sorry,” Lauren repeats feebly, because she’s not sure what else to say.

“Lauren, if you don’t want to be with me, just _tell_ me, because that’ll make it a lot easier for both of us,” Camila says angrily.

Lauren’s eyes widen. “No! No, Camila, I want to be with you, I do! I was just scared of what your parents would think.”

“It shouldn’t matter what they think,” Camila bites the words out, moving even closer to Lauren. “It should only matter what _we_ think!” Her hand flies up in exasperation, but the residual fear in Lauren from earlier combined with Camila’s raised voice and physicality makes Lauren flinch back instinctively, hard enough that she bumps into Camila’s bookshelf and rattles it.

Camila and Lauren both freeze, staring at each other with wide eyes.

Camila backs away, her hands covering her mouth in horror. Her eyes fill with tears and Lauren steps forward with her hands outstretched.

“No, it’s okay, that was my fault, I know you weren’t going to hurt me,” Lauren stumbles over her words, but Camila keeps the distance between them.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Camila says, her voice much more timid than it was only a few seconds ago. “I did that to you, _I_ made you scared.”

Lauren hesitates for a moment – because, yeah, Lauren _was_ scared for a heartbeat – and that’s all the confirmation Camila’s needs.

“I’m so sorry,” Camila nearly sobs. “I’m no better than those guys your mom used to date.”

“Hey,” Lauren protests immediately. “Don’t talk about my girlfriend like that.”

“Don’t joke,” Camila says sternly.

Lauren nods. “Okay, my bad… I know you were just frustrated, and if I’m being honest… I don’t get why.” Camila looks at Lauren blankly. “No, wait, I mean – I _do_ get it, but I just, this is the first time – I mean, I’ve never had to, like-”

“Breathe, Lauren,” Camila advises from across the room.

Lauren takes a deep breath and starts again. “I’ve never had to tell my parents I’m in a relationship. I’ve never had the kind of parents you have and telling my mom never seemed important to me. She didn’t care about me most days, so I don’t understand how it feels to want to tell my parents about something like this.”

Camila looks like she’s processing what Lauren’s saying, so Lauren takes a moment to breathe.

“But I know that you do. I know that you care about your parents and they care about you. I didn’t want to mess it all up by being the delinquent kid you decided to date.”

“You know it’s not like that,” Camila protests.

“I know now,” Lauren nods. “Sinu talked to me out in the pool house and… I understand a little better now.” Lauren hesitates before moving closer to Camila slowly, grateful when Camila doesn’t try to keep the distance between them anymore.

“I don’t want you to think that I’m ashamed to date you,” Lauren murmurs. “I don’t want you to think that I don’t want to shout from the rooftops about how you’re my girlfriend.” She pauses. “Because I do.”

Camila cracks a tiny smile at that, which Lauren takes as a good sign and moves closer.

“I know I’ve still got a lot of issues to work through,” Lauren says. “But one thing I don’t have to work on is how much I care about you.” She’s finally standing right in front of Camila. “Because I do care about you quite a bit.”

Camila doesn’t say anything, her eyes still glistening with tears. “I’m sorry,” she says again.

“It’s okay,” Lauren whispers, leaning in and bumping their foreheads together gently. Camila wraps her arms around Lauren’s neck. “I forgive you.”

They’re kissing just like they were an hour before in the exact same place but things are different now. And Lauren kind of loves it.

 

Sofi takes the news very well.

“So you and Kaki are gonna be girlfriends now?” she asks simply, not even looking up from her drawing.

It makes Lauren grin. “Yeah, Sof, we’re girlfriends now.”

“Cool,” Sofi says. “Will you help me draw a unicorn?”

And that’s the end of that.

Alejandro pulls Lauren aside and Lauren’s a little afraid she might pass out.

“Don’t look so nervous,” Alejandro smiles.

“You _are_ my girlfriend’s father,” Lauren jokes weakly. “I think it’s fair for me to be nervous.”

“Ah, but you’re forgetting something,” Alejandro says. “You’re a daughter to me as well.”

The words warm Lauren’s heart and she impulsively hugs the man. He gives hugs that are as warm and comforting as everyone else in his family and Lauren really loves Cabello hugs.

“I just want to tell you,” he says when they pull apart, “to take care of each other. It’s a big world out there, but with you two watching out for each other, I’ll be able to relax a little.”

“Of course,” Lauren nods. “I’ll watch out for Camila.”

“And let her watch out for you, too,” Alejandro says. He stares at her for a few seconds and smiles a little. “You know, I remember picking you up in Chino all those months ago. You were beaten and bruised and unhappy and it broke my heart, even before I grew to love you. And now, seeing you here, happy, healthy, and full of love… it _warms_ my heart.”

It makes Lauren tear up, oddly enough, and she hugs the man again.

“When I called you that night,” she admits, “I had no idea if I was doing the right thing. But now, looking back on it, I know it was the best decision I’ve ever made.”

“I’m glad,” Alejandro smiles. “You make our family better.”

Camila comes across them then, both of them teary eyed.

“What’s wrong?” she frowns.

“Nothing’s wrong, Mila,” Alejandro smiles. He gives Lauren’s shoulder one last squeeze before he disappears around the corner.

Camila turns to Lauren expectantly.

“He was just talking about how we need to take care of each other,” Lauren says.

Camila nods understandingly. “He gave me the same talk earlier.”

That makes emotion spread across Lauren’s chest, thinking that Alejandro must _really_ think of her like a daughter.

“Come on,” Lauren says, grabbing Camila’s hand.

 

They end up on the roof, pressed into each other’s sides, hands intertwined as they stare up at the sky together.

“I’ve been thinking,” Camila says.

“Don’t strain yourself,” Lauren mutters, grunting when Camila nudges her.

“I’ve been thinking,” Camila says again like Lauren never spoke, “about what you said the first time we came up on the roof together.”

“Oh?” Lauren’s heart pounds because she remembers what she said that Camila didn’t hear.

“Yeah. I’ve always been partial to the stars, but I think now I love the moon.”

“I love you,” Lauren says, almost like she can’t stop herself.

Camila’s head turns to Lauren so fast that her neck cracks.

“I love you,” Lauren repeats. “That night when I told you about the moon, I also told you that I loved you. But the roof was pretty windy and you didn’t hear me.”

Camila blinks.

“I know this is sudden,” Lauren says, “and I don’t want you to feel like you have to say it back-”

“I love you, too,” Camila cuts Lauren off.

A grin slowly starts to creep across Lauren’s face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Camila nods and presses her lips to Lauren’s. “I. Love. You,” she punctuates each words with a peck and Lauren laughs before deepening the kiss.

The moon smiles down on them.

**Author's Note:**

> look listen look okay alright they are very in love with each other and it makes my whole body ache and they spend most of this fic holding hands how gross of them
> 
> you can come talk to me about how in love they are on my tumblr sadbirdsquad


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